TWR-Week 3 Updates

Hello Friends and Family!

It has been two weeks since I started interning with TWR again, and boy do I love this ministry. Many of you have been praying and I’m sure are curious to hear what the Lord is doing here.

I have been working with Scott and Marvin on several different projects. The first to mention is a Women of Hope radio program. If you’re on Facebook, you might have seen a picture of me in the studio. Women of Hope is a program that is sent to women around the world whom many are illiterate, oppressed or abused. The program includes practical life skills like hygiene and medical practices, as well as spiritual life lessons. One of the programs I worked on was teaching women about the dangers of trachoma, a disease transmitted by flies. The program required a voice for a character named “Louis the Fly”, so as seen in the picture-I voiced for Louis. We then pitched up my voice and added fly noises… you can’t even recognize my voice!! 

I have also been working on a program called Hidden Treasures, another program produced through Project Hannah. This program is much heavier than many of the programs that Project Hannah produces. It is specifically for those working in the sex industry. It was created to show them they too are loved, in a way no man could ever pay. That God wants them, desperately! Please pray for me as we work on this project. It is very heavy content, and so worthwhile.  I am currently working on reconciling scripts to what was recorded, as well as create a production script that is clear enough to be sent to other languages that will be editing their own languages into the program.

A fun thing I learned in the first week here is that RiverCross has completed all of Holding Esther, the program I was involved with last summer. All 7 episodes are available on TWR 360.org, and are gearing up to go into translation and contextualization for other languages. I was also very excited to learn that a dear friend of mine who works with refugees has considered this a very useful tool, and is looking into using it the way it was designed; to train care givers in her ministry. What a great and wonderful God we have!

Finally, I wanted to inform you all of God’s great wonderful kindness and abundance in providing our every needs. There was a girl that has moved into my apartment for the summer, taking care of a HUGE financial burden. My tuition bill was much lower than expected, and hopefully I will have the remaining balance paid off by the time I return for my final semester at Liberty University. I am house sitting for a missionary couple with a few of the other interns, and another missionary has provided a vehicle for us to use during our stay-we have a house and transportation, can you believe it?

God is SO good to us. He has done great things, and I’m so thrilled to be a part of what he is currently doing. Thank you for your continued prayers regarding this ministry.

In Christ, Lanelle Fuller

TransWorld Radio Updates

Hello friends and family!

I know many of you have been looking forward to seeing my updated letter. I have been waiting to write because I've been waiting on some information to pass along to you. I have received a more detailed job description, and am so excited to share it with you!

This summer, I will be working on KERUS, KERUS is a radio drama that works on "Imparting vision, teaching life skills, and preventing HIV/AIDS", you can check out the website by clicking on "KERUS". I personally will be working on the Kenya version of the radio drama. Please pray that I will learn so much from this, and that the Lord would be able to use what we produce to bring glory to himself in the world.

I also will have my hands in producing new sound effects, and producing new music for a multitude of different programs TWR distributes, the impact of this is amazing-I'm simply floored that I get to be a part of it.

I also will be working with TWR's "Woman of Hope" radio program, and by the end of the summer will produce my own Woman of Hope program for broadcast.  Women of Hope is a program that is underneath TWR's Project Hannah, a ministry solely focused on ministering to women in oppressive cultures, Project Hannah is a ministry that is very dear to my heart, and last year I had the privilege of getting to know the ministry in a more detailed way. I would strongly encourage you to look into this project, you can check out their ministry here.

Other things I will be working on are voicing, an internet radio station, organizational tasks, and multiple projects within the SIP department in TWR.

On top of this wonderful news, I have some fantastic news to announce-I am already 16.5% to my goal! For those of you who don't know, I need to raise $1,814.00 by April 30th in order to take this internship. Praise the Lord I am already well on my way here in February! Please pray the funds will come in before the deadline. If you would like to donate to help me be able to do this work in the summer, please follow this link: https://donate.twr.org/p-327-lanelle-fuller.aspx

Because I will be forgoing a paying job in the summer, I originally was attempting to raise an additional $1,750 to cover my rent and tuition. However, the tuition payment at Liberty for the summer "class" (we have to pay for our internship credit hours) was MUCH less than I anticipated, and I also am pursuing having a young girl take over my lease for the summer-which would eliminate the need to raise more support. If you could please pray for these developments, I'm not sure what the Lord has planned, but would love for you to join me in prayer as these things happen.

That's all the updates for now!

Thank you so much to everyone who has already been supporting me, and praying for me as I pursue this. I am very greatful for all of you!

~Lanelle Fuller

"Am I a good girl?" "Am I doing the adult thing right?"

 "Am I lovely?"
          "Do you see me, do you WANT to see me?"
                                                                "Will you fight for me?"
                                                                                 "Am I good enough?"

These questions which are silently asked by many girls, are our deepest questions. We want to be pleasing. Physically, spiritually, emotionally.... in fact our fear is so deep that when someone walks away from us in our lives-many times we assume that it is because we were either "Too much" or "not enough".

I find myself while I am at school, trying to make new adult decisions. I am standing on what feel like wobbly legs. It's almost as if I am like a young horse attempting to stand on it's own for the first time. But many times, instead of taking those first few steps-I keep turning back around and asking those around me "Are you sure I can do this?" "Am I doing this right?" "Am I good enough?" One of the deepest cries of my heart is that God and his people would be pleased with me. If I get the slightest inclination that someone is upset, displeased, or uncomfortable about something I am doing-
                                                                                               I hide.
I shy away from that which I have been called. I refuse to walk because I'm afraid I'll fall. I'm afraid to fall because my biggest fears are 'being a disappointment' and that I am not doing enough or doing far too much.
But see, when you hide and are afraid to walk, especially you young women attempting adult life--when we are so caught up in the question of "Am I pleasing God", sometimes we forget the core of the gospel is that the answer is: "YES, YES, A MILLION TIMES YES!". But not because we've accomplished something of our own. No, God is pleased because of the work on the cross-Jesus' word's on the cross were;
          "It is finished" not "Now please me."

Colossians 1:22 says  that the point of the cross was this: "But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—" and since that work is finished, we need to take the light yoke that the Lord has promised us. (Matt 11:30 'For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.')

"The reason we fear to step out is because we know that it might not go well (is that an understatement?). We have a history of wounds screaming at us to play it safe. We feel so deeply that if it doesn't go well, if we are not received well, their reaction becomes the verdict on our lives, on our very beings, on our hearts. We fear that our deepest doubts about ourselves as women will be confirmed. Again. ...That is why we can only risk stepping out when we are resting in the love of God. When we have received his verdict on our lives-that we are chosen and dearly loved. That He finds us captivating. Then we are free to offer"
 - John and Stasi Eldredge--"Captivating"


 ......We have to receive the gift of rest, because we have a God who sees and cares and notices. He will not become undone. He remains un-overwhelmable…Choosing to please God sounds right at first, but it so often leads to a performing life, a girl trying to become good, a lean-on-myself theology. If I am trying to please God, it is difficult to trust God. But when I trust God, pleasing Him is automatic."
- Emily P. Freeman -- "Grace for the Good Girl"

Jehovah Jireh!

As many of you know, over the holidays I got very sick. I missed about 2 months worth of work, which made paying for school extremely difficult. I know the Lord has provided every moment, yet I consistently find myself doubting.

Wednesday morning, the 21^st of January I began to panic about money yet again. “Was LU really God’s will for my life? Did I make the wrong decision? Am I walking in communion with the Lord—or am I trying to make my desires fit into God’s picture of my life?”

My monthly payment comes out every 25^th of the month and I just was not going to be able to make this one. I went to breakfast with a friend and I remember telling her that I just felt overwhelmed. She encouraged me and I continued on my way. I worked until 5ish and then went to dinner before attending Campus Community, a Bible Study for us kids on campus. I do what's called "CSER" there (required Christian Service Hours). I generally love it, but this Wednesday I just wanted desperately to go home and rest.
But I went begrudgingly at the coaxing of a friend. Work had me exhausted, I felt overwhelmed, and I was dirty and gross from working all day, I hadn't had the chance to change out of my work clothes.

We did our CSER by greeting at the doors, and then sat down for the message. We are going through Galatians and talked about how the gospel is based off of grace, not works. Jesus pays our debt. We can rest in his provision.

Somehow out of this, our Campus Pastor declared "is anyone here seriously worried about debt?" and I immediately started to cry. He asked if any of us would like prayer to go ahead and come down the isle. Yet again, my friend encouraged me to go. So I did. At this point, I'm a hot mess. I begin to pray along side of a couple of other kids. The pastor goes "alright, you guys are all dismissed, but if anyone would like to come up here and pray for these kids or give them something, and just be the church to them, please feel free."

The Campus Community showed me what Christ’s body is supposed to look like. I was encouraged with sweet words and prayed over. Kids just kept pouring forward and handing me cash!
I was handed cash by students I didn’t even know! I know that students here are broke too, ramen noodles and Dollar Tree toilet paper are all of us kids best friends. What I witnessed Wednesday night reminded me of the passage that Paul wrote about in 2 Corinthians 8:2 “In the midst of a very severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity.”

I went home extremely floored by the grace of God and his rich generosity by his children to his children.  My pockets were filled with dollar bills. I got home and wept with joy as I began to count it.  My brothers and sisters in Christ ended up giving me $342---Which was precisely what I needed to make my payment on Sunday! The Lord paid my bill, yet again. He used his children to prove to a doubting Thomas that he is faithful-always.

I want to say thank you to the kids who gave me money, prayed for me, and spoke words of encouragement to me. I have no idea who you are, but the Lord used you to speak to me in a very tangible way.

Please remember that the Lord is good in the great times and bad.  The Lord sees, hears, and cares for our every need. He provided what I needed exactly 4 days before the payment was due. God is never late; he is always right on time. We can rest peacefully in his provisional arms.

A Few Musings

First of all, I'm so sorry friends I haven't updated a personal post in a while. I honestly want to get better about that. Secondly, this post probably doesn't have a very smooth flow... it's just a few thoughts I had, and thought I would share!

This summer has been all about the sovereignty of God, I wish I could write all the things that have happened over the spring and summer, but that would take pages and pages. But I have experienced God's power in a unique and special way.There have been times in my life where I have doubted whether God actually intervenes in the lives of his people, but I can honestly say when that doubt creeps in again, I can look to this spring and summer and say with confidence: "YES! God sees, God cares. He is orchestrating things for the good of those who love him, and are conforming them into the image of his Son!"

I have learned that we are each fashioned by God for the specific time period we are in. We are made with his glory in mind. More than that, I have been made to look more like Christ and to glorify him with every breath.

I have seen many a prayer answered this summer. From things as large as "God, what are you doing?", to as small as "please let my fish live!". I have seen him provide a way for school, when it doesn't make any sense to pursue what I'm pursuing. It won't make much money, I decided to go out of state, and I am at a private school. Yet I felt that is where the Lord was calling me, and he has blessed me and proven his glorious might and power every step of the way. I do not know if it's a permanent calling to my school, but for now I know it's where the Lord wants me.  (Yet I still find ways to worry about the tiny details! HA! I somehow seem to think God will forget things, how foolish of me)

This summer I earnestly prayed for deep Christian fellowship, and again, the Lord answered. I have been surrounded by girls who love the Lord and encourage me to seek him. I have been encouraged by them to not stop seeking the Lord simply because those around me don't understand the lessons I'm learning, or despise me for walking the way he's called me. (IOW- don't stop running simply because people are laughing!)

I've learned that each person has a different calling. Some girls are able and allowed to serve in a specific area, with the special gifts and talents to listen, hear, and connect in ways that other people have not been gifted. I've learned that my talents, gifts, and calling are specific to me.  Just because I feel God leading me in one direction doesn't mean everyone else is called to that same thing.

All in all, I have learned that Yahweh is a PERSONAL God. He uniquely designed me for the problems I encounter, for the sin I face (and the strength to combat it!), for the blessings he pours out, and the calling he has given me.  He is creator, defender, comforter, healer, provider and protector.... and me? I'm just foolish and wishywashy.  I am faulty-and he loves me exactly the way he made me, because he sees me perfect through Christ. HE is sanctifying me-I don't have to tell him where to "wash" or "fix up", because he already sees, knows, and is "on the job".

What an awesome God! Amen!

10 Things To Know About Me

I have learned a few things about myself this past semester, as it has been the first time I've really lived out of the house 'on my own'. I figure knowing these things may help people out a bit when trying to figure me out.

1. I am an introvert. I have always been an introvert, I will always BE an introvert.
Yeah, Yeah, I know I seem like I'm not, but honestly, ask my closest friends and they will tell you that there is only so much social interaction I can handle before I shut down from exhaustion.
So what does this mean for you? It means that I get my energy from being quiet with a close friend, or from being by myself. If I tell you I don't really want to hang out, it doesn't mean I'm a horrible person... it just means I need a break. For the sake of my sanity, and possibly the safety of humanity.

2. I'm just not much of a hugger.
Okay so, I can be, but I'm like a cat okay? I have to initiate it.
This means that if I tell you not to touch me, please don't. Respect my space. This goes back to the introvert thing.


3. I am VERY MUCH a morning person. Which also means I'M VERY MUCH NOT A NIGHT PERSON!!
I do not stay up past midnight. Two o'clock is the latest for me at sleepovers. I pulled an all nighter twice in my life. Neither ended well.
Translated, this means even with a good group of friends, at about 10:30pm my body literally shuts down. I can't think, I start talking about potatoes, and suddenly I turn into a maniac. If I ask you to take me home, pleassssssseee take me home. It doesn't mean I didn't have fun, it just means I'm done. Ask my roommate, she had me out with her and a guy friend of hers. We had a great time. But as soon as the clock struck 10:30, I stopped functioning. As a morning person, I love being able to be up and re-energize and prepare myself for the day.

4. I don't want a "romantic first date".
I love having fun and goofing off!
I don't want to be romantic on a first date. I want to get to know you, know the things you love, and learn your sense of humor. The romance part comes later-I need to get to know you first!

5. I am AWFUL at flirting.
When someone I like walks by, I somehow end up hurting their feelings, and when someone starts flirting with me, I don't realize it, make jokes and end up looking like an idiot.
So, just be patient with the flirting thing. I'm sure with practice I'll get better, or not....

6.  I flip my hair when I feel awkward in a situation,  or passionate about a topic.
It's your job to discover what the flip was for....
I get teased for this!! It's also very helpful for when you want to discover if the topic is important enough to listen to my opinion on. Because I will definitely have an opinion, and you will most likely have to hear it.

7. I cross my arm across my body when I'm feeling shy.
Why is this important?
Because you can help me be sociable. Remember, as an introvert I hate small talk, it's harder for me to enjoy parties! But again, if I ask to just go home, please just take me home.

8. I love deep, philosophical or theological or any-kind of conversation. 
But I wouldn't suggest doing it all the time, or on the first date.
Small talk is difficult!

9. I love asking weird questions. I have a game where I ask a strange question and say "GO!" and a person has to answer with the first answer that comes to their mind.
I play this game with all my friends!
Why? Because I hate small talk, and this helps people start telling stories! My favorite is "QUICK! What is the weirdest family tradition you have? GO!" It starts up conversation that goes deeper than 'so...uhhh.. what's your favorite tv show?'

10. Sometimes, sitting in a comfortable silence is my favorite thing.
Hiking to the top of a mountain, looking at a waterfall, whatever...
Sometimes I can have a million thoughts running through my head, and just want to leave them all there. That's okay, it doesn't mean anything is wrong. It just means I trust you enough to not have to keep talking.

If you are a friend, feel free to add to the goofy things you know about me! 

Only a Few Weeks Left

RANDOM RAMBLINGS POST!!!

I think one thing I've learned is that I am dearly loved.
I am supported and cared for, although sometimes I feel alone and my mind races and tells me lies-I know I am loved.
I know the Lord provides.
I know he cares about everything.
I know he's going to clothe me like the lillies of the field
I know he orchestrates all things for my good, that I may become more like him.
I know my life has a direction.
I know I may not know what comes tomorrow, but he does, so I can rest.
I know that my family is changing, that I am changing, but that it's like watching a flower grow.

A good friend of mine said something to me yesterday that I thought was amazing.
"In God's eyes you already have an A+." She told me there was nothing I could do to walk away from God's love. I didn't have to stress or freak, because he already knew what my grade was.

How cool is it that God love us no matter what we do, we can't make him love us less we can't make him love us more. We can simply rest in him. We can rest knowing that when we serve him, it's for  our benefit, his glory, not his love.  I think that is one of the most beautiful things I've learned.

I don't know what my summer holds, I don't even know if I can return in the fall. I think the Lord's about to make a huge change in me, and it scares me, but I'm super excited to see what it is. I don't want to stay the same. Maybe my circumstance will be the same-but I won't. What's going to happen on the other side?
I have no idea.

But let's find out shall we? :D

Being Okay With "Maybe"....

So many things currently dangle precociously close to the edge of a cliff. It all depends on "...", fill in the blank. It's uncomfortable.
I am one of those people who loves absolutes, I would rather live with a definitive "NO!" then a half-hearted 'maybe'. I hate that word. If I was being totally honest, probably my least favorite words in the whole dictionary are "maybe" and "possibly". But my life seems to be full of them.
The question is, do I trust God enough? Even with the "maybe"s?  My own mind taunts me with questions; "Will she keep her GPA up? Will it stay high enough for a scholarship? Can she even graduate? Will she be able to afford the school? " -and to each of these questions, the only reply I hear is; "MAYBE."  If I get caught thinking too long, my mind wanders to; "Will I be able to get a job out of college? Will I ever have a husband and kids? Will I be able to afford to live and pay off loans?"

To which, I have to stop and scream; "WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!"... yeah, it's bad when I get caught thinking too much.

But here's the thing. Why do I want to go to college-ultimately? Yes, a husband would be nice, a degree would be great-and living on my own would be so much fun right now!! But ultimately? The reason I want to go to school is so that I can honor and glorify God with every single step of my life. I believe that by getting a degree, I can use it to magnify God. I know that I am most satisfied and most happy, when I rest in the glory of God.

So if where I truly want to be, is wherever God puts me, then I *have* to learn to be okay with the "maybe"s, because that's where he has put me.
...
The only way to describe the way I feel is with a word picture.

This is a bus stop. What do you do at a bus stop? Obviously, you wait for a bus. Now imagine for a moment-that you started out at this bus stop with a group of friends 3 years ago. You all had on these funny looking gowns and hats, and you all were excited about having just graduated. Some of your friends are a little older, but most had the same looking gown as you. You knew some of your friends were going to go off on certain buses, and that you probably wouldn't see them again for a long time.
So together you all sit and wait for the different buses you've been looking for.... a few of your friends hop on the University bus, some hop on the 'relationship' bus, still, some of your older friends even wind up having kids, getting a diploma, or getting a big shiny rock on their left hand. ....and still you wait. Your bus has not come yet. A whole year passes, and all your university friends have left...... the second year passes, and some friends take the bus that has other friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, or in-state schools, we all know that bus; "The Busy Bus", these friends may live near the bus stop, but their buses route schedule never allows time for them to come sit with you.
Finally, it's the 3rd year. Hear you sit, your graduation cap and gown are looking a little sadder now, and the bus stop is looking quite empty. You thought your bus was going to come last year... but there were some complications, and your bus got delayed. You've done your best to smile and wave at the people leaving, but it seems as though the loneliness and anxiousness continues to build. There are a few stragglers left behind, and for that you are thankful, you get to talk to them every once in a while. The encouragement they give you to 'keep waving, keep waiting, some day your bus will come!' is helpful, but the mantra is starting to get old..........

But then, another bus rounds the corner, it looks like the front of your bus!!! Could it be??? ...

To which the answer is a very loud " MAYBE!!! ".


Discouraged and hopeful. How do those two things fit together?? I don't completely understand it, but it's reality. When you start to think that maybe it IS the bus you've been waiting for, what if it's not what you were expecting? What happens while your on the bus, and what happens when I have to get off??
This is the picture that has been running through my mind.

The question is, do I trust God, even with the maybe's? The sad truth is-no, I don't... I need supernatural help! My faith is being stretched, and I'm learning to trust. I like it better when the answer is either a "yes" or a "no". I can live with that! I'm learning to enjoy resting in the 'possibles' and enjoying the time at the 'bus station'. Sure, not a whole lot of people are there with me, but that's okay, I can wave as other cars go by, I can sing, I can stop and look at the stars. I won't be able to look at the stars when my bus comes. I can enjoy the smell of the rain, and the alone time I have. -Those things won't be there when the bus comes.
(Think family time, alone time, quiet time with God,my own room.... I know, the way I think is weird!)

Trust is a hard thing, but I know in the long run, it's better...I'm learning to be okay with the answer "maybe", it's infinitely more biblical:

~James 4:15~ "Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."'

Saved-Without Facebook??

Would people know I was saved without my Facebook page? 

It's a question that has been rattling around in my mind for the past few days. Yes, I believe the Lord can use Facebook as a medium for conversations and discussions about the gospel--and that's my hope in having one...

Let's be honest, I also have friends who live far away (such as my cousins in Colorado, a friend who was in Africa for a while, my MK friend who was in Slovokia for a while, etc.) who want to know about how my life is going, and sometimes Skyping just doesn't work itself out, and Facebook allows people to catch up with me.

BUT, my question is this: yes, while I share the gospel on my Facebook page, do I share it in my life? If I took away my Facebook page, would people know I still love gays and lesbians (even though I disagree with their lifestyle?).

See one of the things I keep seeing is this debate of gay marriage. I'm watching as some believers are fighting for the "equal rights" of gays and lesbians, then declaring that if you don't, that you're judging as a Christian-which Christ calls us "not to do". (Which isn't 100% true.. but that's a different topic).

I'm very saddened that this topic has come up during Passion Week. My friends no longer are focused on the cross and what Christ did for them. They're no longer concerned with sharing that beautifully good news. Instead all I see are arguments.

So you want to talk about gay marriage? Let's talk about it:

Gays are sinners. Gays without Christ are going to hell. Gays need the precious blood of Jesus to cleanse them from their sin. Once that has happened, God will deal with Gays' sins on His own timetable - that's what sanctification is for.

Now let's change that to YOU. Every word of that is true of YOU:
YOU are a sinner. YOU without Christ are going to hell. YOU need the precious blood of Jesus to cleanse YOU from YOUR sin. Once that has happened, God will deal with YOUR sin on His own timetable - that's what sanctification is for.

Now let's talk about ME:
I am a sinner. Without Christ, I am going to hell. I need the precious blood of Jesus to cleans ME from MY sin. Once that has happened, God will deal with MY sin on his own timetable - that's what sanctification is for.

Galatians 3:22 "the Scriptures declare that we are ALL prisoners of sin, so we receive God’s promise of freedom only by believing in Jesus Christ."

There. The topic has been covered. Now go and share the gospel with your gay friends. OFF OF FACEBOOK.

See that's my question, would my gay friends know my stance on gay marriage and my love for them if I didn't have a Facebook?  My prayer is that those who know me -whether they're gay, straight, people addicted to porn, or those who are high or drunk - know Christ in me; that they know the love of Christ and see his work in my life - even if I turned my Facebook off.

Do people know I'm a believer by the way I treat my family? Do they know I'm a believer when I sit at the lunch table at school and don't cave into the temptation to laugh at dirty jokes? What about what I wear? Does that make me look like a believer? How about when I'm driving in traffic - am I compliant with traffic rules, and kind to those who need a spot in front of me, or do I fight for my own way? When I talk about politics, do I get angry and hostile-or do I share the truth of the gospel with love in my conversation of politics? When someone starts a topic of discussion, am I able to give them the verse they're thinking of without my phone to Google it? For me, that last on is a killer. See, I myself am dealing with current sins in my own life, and I think that next week starting April 1st, I will be turning off my cellphone and my Facebook. I'm going to replace the time that I spend on Facebook typing about the love of Jesus, and instead I'm going to experience it for myself AND share with others face to face. That takes a lot more guts to do than sit behind a screen typing Bible verses. Again, would I even know the Bible verses without Google? Is God's word "hidden in my heart" or is it "found in my "About Me"  page on Facebook???

Please understand, I'm not saying Facebook is evil and everyone should get off of it--by all means NO! I have used Facebook to share the Gospel with several of my non-believing friends, and share the love of Christ with my believing friends. Facebook can be GREAT. It's an awesome supplement to what I do in my personal life anyway. My question for myself is, am I able to do those things WITHOUT social media? WITHOUT a screen in front of my face? I believe that with Christ I can. I have chosen not to--because it's easier on Facebook.

If you feel like joining me in this challenge, feel free to leave a comment below! If not, just pray for me as I seek to know Christ and make him known in this coming week.

I pray that your Easter is filled with the awesome knowledge of Christ!
Lanelle

A Post From Ryan Y.

durp! oh how i tresure the word. i misspell the previous words......... ok whatever i am just really messed up so romeo romeo ho why do i lowercase this dust the feel stupid or not may the squiggled line be ritten on how i am epicly.........a bird can fly so dose time when your having fun but in sicence it drops dead in the sky mannnnnnnnnnnnnn i am so tierd are u
hmmm......... anyway im writing this and my poems suck so traaaalala is see a saw am i the one who ate a pecan the shape of the sun1 this is the end so just send............. some READING MATERIAL!

                                            The

                                    End.....for now :) in insane!!!!!!!

What is Beauty?

A friend of mine and I have been having a discussion on beauty. A lot of times, people wonder why I don't say "aw I'm not pretty", and things like that. But most of you readers know, that considering myself "beautiful" is something that took me a very long time to understand. It's something I have struggled with all my life.

Well, my friend and I, during our conversation, got to talking--and I asked her to create a "bible lesson" of sorts, on Biblical beauty. I am including some of what she wrote here, as well as some extra thought I had! Her stuff will be in pink, and mine will be in purple! :)

The Greek Definition of Beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place, object, or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction.

I have found that this definition counteracts what the Bible has to say about beauty. The Bible says in Song of Solomon 4:7 "You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you."
Most people know the "world's" definition of beauty, yet forget what the one who created us says about beauty. It's so easy to believe the lies this world tells us.. (What is necessary to be beautiful, what we need to look and act like, etc.) See, the difference between worldly beauty and biblical beauty--is that God's definition will never change. Unlike the fashion of today's world, where skinny jeans are in one week, and silly bands are a "no-no" the next, God looks at us and sees beauty non-stop. In fact, he does get "pleasure" and "satisfaction" like the Greek definition--just not over the same things. For the world, it's whatever's "in" that week--be it blonde hair on Monday, and curly black hair on Tuesday, but for God it's the same always. God says "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” -Rom. 10:15. My personal favorite-- 1 Peter 3: 3&4  says: 
 "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight"

God also tells us that he makes everything beautiful in it's time. (Ecc 3:11), and he tells us that the beauty of the world is fleeting--but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30).
If we are in Christ, we should believe what the Bible says about our beauty. I mean, for goodness sakes, we were made in the image of the Beholder. Beautiful, flawless, perfect. This does not mean we are perfect, no, not at all--but rather that Christ sees us as perfect because our sins have been washed away, we are seen as perfect because of Jesus' work on the cross. If the creator of the whole world thinks that we are beautiful, why should it matter what anyone else thinks, right? We live in a sin cursed world, full of temptation and lies that Satan loves to make us fall into and believe. Let's be honest, we have all at some point in time, believed the lies that we have heard before. That's why we need a savior!! To set us free from those lies!

It's so hard not to believe what the world tells us. We live in this world, but please don't be fooled. This is not our home, and this is not where we belong! God created beauty, yes, but this sin cursed world has turned it into something it was never meant to be! Men are supposed to respect women, not treat them like some object they just won at an auction. Once they get sick of it, they just get rid of it. Rather, men are to love their women like Christ loved the church. Men should be willing to give up their lives for their wives. Unfortunately, this is not the way it always works. As women, we need to submit first to God, and believe what he says about beauty--and believe it when Christ tells us we're worth dying for! Then, when the right guy comes along, we need to be willing to submit to him. Just as the church is supposed to submit to God. Women are not meant to flaunt the beauty God gave them just to make men fall into sin.  When we flaunt it with the intention of making men fall, we are actually begging men to take their eyes of Christ, and instead worship us. "A woman's hear should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to come to know Christ before he comes to know her." -Maya Angelou When both men and women are focused on serving Christ, the relationships between the two of them is a beautiful picture of what Christ is to the church. We shouldn't walk around in turtlenecks, that's not what we're saying here--rather, women need to be more concerned with Christ--and allowing THAT to make them beautiful--not the coolest necklace.

To summarize all of this, yes there will be times that we believe the lies of this world. But in Christ, we don't have to-because he's freed us from the lies! In Christ we are already made beautiful in HIs eyes. He is the one who created us, and who we will be spending eternity with-- his opinion is the only one that really matters any ways!!

"More Than Enough"

Many times I have been told of the dangers of 'just singing a song'. Unfortunately, too many times, I do just 'sing a song'. One of those songs has been running in my head recently, maybe you know it, it goes like this:

"All of You, is more than enough for
All of me, for every thirst and
Every need, you satisfy me
With Your love, and all I have in You
Is more than enough"

How many times, have I sung this song, and the reality of it never hit? Pause for a minute with me, and meditate on those words... "More than enough"

I think the only times I've used those words, is after a huge thanksgiving meal, and someone offers me more pie; "No thank you, I have had more than enough!!"

Or maybe when a teacher gives out extra credit... "More homework? No thanks, I've done more than enough."

But in regards to Christ? I don't think I ever have used that terminology. Is the concept scriptural? Yeah, definitely. Paul talks about it: "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"  (Philippians 3:8) 

More than enough

Many of you know that I am seeking to go to Liberty University in the Spring of 2014. You know of my struggle financially, and wondering if this indeed is what the Lord wants. You know of my struggle of wondering; "Is this what God wants, or what I want?"
Many of you know I wonder all the time about things like, if I'll ever get married, what my grades will be in a semester, and what in the world I'll do for a living if the path I'm headed down doesn't 'work out'. 

I think I have found the answer to the questions I ask, and it seems like a strange answer: "God is more than enough." I know in my head, that the goal of my life is to: "Preach Christ, die, be forgotten." and that my purpose in life is to:
1. Become more like Christ
2. Make disciples
Everything and anything I do, should revolve around those two things. But there's a character trait that should go along with the head knowledge that I have, that I think I haven't quite achieved yet---contentment.

I'm not trying to say that I'm unsatisfied with what the Lord has given me--except, that's exactly what I'm saying. The Lord has blessed me in uncountable, unmeasurable, infinite ways,and yet, I'm constently looking to other things, and yelling while I shake my fist: "This isn't enough God!! I want____ too!" (fill in the blank with any good desire.)
See, wanting to go to a good school, be financially comfortable, get married, have kids--- all those things aren't bad... but if God says no to them, am I able to say: "No thanks, God is more than enough for me"?

If I can't? Then I'm afraid the things that I desire, have become more important than Christ... and they are now an idol in my life, and I need to get rid of them. 

So my prayer is that I would learn that Christ is more than enough. That even if I can't afford the school I want, even if I end up homeless, jailed, or ridiculed for my faith in Jesus, that I can say: "Oh man, Jesus is more than enough for me. I am completely satisfied with him, I need nothing, for God has provided for all my needs with his love." --and if you think of me? Join me in praying for that!


 

Dreams, Hopes, and Struggles

Sometimes you get to a point where you're discouraged. One step forward and its ten steps back.  You look at where you are, and where you want to be, and it feels impossible. "What's the point of even dreaming, if achieving is so impossible? Is that hope even really where I'm supposed to be, or have I created a dream world that I try to fit God into? I thought for sure that's what God had planned...."

Then. Then you stop staring at the goal, look at the ground and gather your thoughts: what's true? What's noble? What's pure?
"I know that God has a plan. I know that he will never leave me or forsake me, despite my faults and failures. I know that he has dragged me from the pit of despair and set me free.
This is truth."

Your heart begins to beat faster as hope approaches, your mind continues to pound out thoughts:

"I know that the point of my life is to preach Christ. Not only in what I say, and do... but what I eat, how I handle money, the stuff I put on my body, my reaction to disappointment, and even the stuff I pin on Pinterest. To know Christ and be known by him is the highest goal. In the morning when I wake up, am I asking God to be glorified in me and through me?
Preach Christ, die, be forgotten.--- This is noble."

You get to a point where you can lift your head a little... what's this? This gentle breeze on the face? That's the taste of courage. But just when you feel like you could try again.. your head starts in again:

My life is full of sin, there's not a day I don't go to bed and regret the things I did or didn't do. I'm a failure. I'm worthless, and even with a noble cause, I always share Christ wrong. What if I choose the wrong path? What if I think God says something... and I just manage to ruin it?
-what is pure?-
Christ is pure. He has saved me for freedom. My sins are great, but his love is greater. My life is full of wrinkles and stains, but they're covered with the precious blood of Jesus Christ who I get to call saviour. God sees me as righteous because of this. My deepest failures, my darkest doubts and my most hopeless nights are flooded with light and victory with the words "It is Finished" "There is now no condemnation". "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, and he will make your paths straight" this is Christ. This is freedom.
This is purity."

Your heart maybe doesn't begin to be flooded with emotion and passion, but there is a quiet determination. What is this? Ten steps back... and yet, there is peace. Your eyes are no longer on your feet, or even on the goal (that may very well be good, and what God wants...) but instead, your eyes are locked with that of a scarred savior, brilliant in all his glory, tender and compassionate, with the eyes of a victor. Nothing can hold you back. For this is your God. This is what you're living for, whether or not you ever make it to where you had planned, you are safe. Confident. Victorious. Full of peace, and most of all: filled with joy.

Random Ramblings (again!)

Why are we such hypocrites? Why do we scream and scorn and spit?
Why isn't their love and depth to our souls, we've been redeemed -so why don't we live for more?
The gospel penetrates our very hearts, splits the body and the soul.
How do you even love us?
Our hands are so filthy with our brother's blood. The nations laugh and mock our faith, and yet here we stand laughing at each other. Why haven't we stood? Why haven't we said "My God is enough"?
How do you love us???
Such disgusting sin, we must make you cringe. Yet the beauty of You is that you see us as clean. No matter what we say, through the murder of a man, you see our dead bodies as alive. You chose us to be your children, how can that be???
AH, THANK YOU!
Why do I do the things I despise? Why do I chase things my soul is not satisfied in?
Why do I forget that the people around me, need to know the joy of your Spirit indwelling us?
Gospel oriented living. May I be wholly yours.
If all I have is Christ's, then all I is Christ, and Jesus you are my life!!!

Chick-fil-a is in a Pickle

First off, can I say I think politics are ridiculous? They seem to get us focused on earthly things, not where our eyes should be--at the foot of the cross. Sure, as long as we have freedom we should have a say in politics (for the glory of God and the furtherance of the gospel)--but once politics become a stumbling block and focus our eyes on things that don't have infinite value they've become an idol.
(collective gasps)
I don't want to worship my freedom--more than I worship the God who gave me that freedom.
Secondly, can I just say how ADD we are as a generation? A week before, my facebook was flooded with arguments about gun laws (after a MASS shooting at a midnight premier of the new Batman movie). Now we're talking about sandwiches. Go figure....

So what about Chick-fil-a?
A lot of pictures and posts have been flying around--angry, and supportive. The owner of Chick-fil-a was quoted improperly in an interview, and was sold as a "homophobe". All that the owner actually said in the interview was this:

"“In that spirit . . . [Christianity] is about a personal relationship. Companies are not lost or saved, but certainly individuals are,” Cathy added. “But as an organization we can operate on biblical principles. So that is what we claim to be. [We are] based on biblical principles, asking God and pleading with God to give us wisdom on decisions we make about people and the programs and partnerships we have. And He has blessed us.”  Read more on Newsmax.com: Mainstream Media Invents Gay Marriage Chick-fil-A Controversy

The whole gay marriage thing has completely drowned out what he said! "Companies are nor lost or saved, but certainly individuals are" to me, it is sad that our anger has conquered our love. I agree, gay marriage is wrong (you can read my post about it here (as well as comment!): http://sinkingup.blogspot.com/2012/04/amendment-one.htmlbut if my support of business effects my stance for the gospel then there's no way I'm eating at that business any more.

I for one am proud of the CEO of Chick-fil-a for standing on the gospel. It saddens me that Chicago wants nothing to do with Christian's, bu does that mean we don't visit Chicago? BY NO MEANS!! People in Chicago need Jesus Christ, not a chicken sandwich.

One last thing I have to say is that, if you ARE planning on going to Chick-fil-a August 1st, good for you. Go for the sake of the gospel, Go because you love Christ and want to support his people.

BUT PLEASE DON'T GO FOR THE "We're standing on family values" crap. The only place that 'family values' come from is the Bible. My 'family values' may be different than yours---'family values' are undefinable. Instead, stand on biblical principles. Gay relations (and marriage) would be acceptable without the Holy Scriptures, and that is what my faith is founded upon. God died because we're messed up people, because he knew we couldn't define silly things like "family values", because he knew outside of a miracle we would chase our tails into the pits of hell. He died so that we could see that his grace, beauty, love, and kindness is better than any relationship, hetero or homo, and that the depths of the gospel and the riches of it's message is better than any chicken sandwich money could buy.

How Do We Overcome the Desire to be Divine?

Anger.
Nothing but pure unleashed rage.
Humans, our ability to see injustices in the world is shocking. Sex trafficking? Maddening.
Rape, murder, famine, disease, how can you say there is a God? How, even if there was a God, would he be doing anything worth attention?
Recently a friend of mine posted a status discussing his disgust at the ability of a person in the spotlight to throw away "belief" in a religion, for fame and money. I agree, if you believe something, and ditch it so that you can get more money, then it's truly despicable. This status provoked a very angered friend of his to post about his disgust with "God" "religion" and "Christians".

Some of the comments that were made (which have been greatly paraphrased to keep this blog G-Rated)

"Religion is keeping us from breaking away from a fantasy"
"If God is real, I wouldn't mind punching him in the face because of the atrocities in the world"
"Jesus was just another one of those guys who claimed to be God's disciples"
"No one knows (how the world was made), but religion teaches it's okay not to know--which is truly despicable."

And my favorite one:

"I'll take my risk. I would gladly defy a true God to the ends of my very breath. Do you think I FEAR God? Do you think I should fear God? Why!? I am but a simple human and they're millions of us. I am a vessel and nothing more. I will never bend to the will of any GOD, fictional,  or real as my living flesh. If God is righteous, he'll understand my frustration. If he is cruel, then let him be cruel. He hasn't done **** anyways, why would he start now???"

AH! The statements that were made on this status were so heartfelt! SO ANGRY, so full of pure, unleashed rage toward God.

Isn't that what the scriptures say we have against God anyways? We don't want him, we'll never want him. This guy has stated something all of us have questioned from time to time.

"God, if you're there, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?!"

But here's the beauty of the gospel: "God hasn't done **** anyways" isn't true.
God's done EVERYTHING. He keeps the breathe in our lungs that we use to defy him, he could have been a God of chaos and disorder, and let us all go to hell and been declared righteous. But he didn't. There's a song by a band named Attalus that addresses this issue:

"The blood, the tears, the sweat, why does it feel so wrong?
Disaster pain and death, Oh God, where have you gone?
The world was in your hands, you let it fall head long,
So either you're not good or you're just not that strong."

And later the response from God:

"God said, the blood the tears, the sweat, I died to right your wrong
Disaster, pain, and death, oh man, where have you gone?
The world was falling fast --I cast myself head-long

To save your rebel souls to prove my love is strong"

See, God didn't just let us feel pain. He felt it too, he had his flesh ripped off and his heart torn in two by the disease, the famine, the rape, the murder. His heart screams in anguish at the works of our bloody hands, and said "I will save you". The beauty of it is, God has died for all the "despicable" things we have created. With wood, gold, and flesh we have decided we are good enough on our own without God, and then blame him for the problems we see. We blame him for giving us free will, but scream in rage at the thought of predestination.

We're messed up. So God came to save us. Not just clean us up, not just to "squeaky clean our hearts". But to pick us up, and give us a new place-- a place where we belong.

But not only is the man who commented on the status angry, he's also defiant. The saddest part of the whole thing that he wrote is this line: "I will never bend to the will of any GOD, fictional,  or real as my living flesh. If God is righteous, he'll understand my frustration. If he is cruel, then let him be cruel."

Even though God has saved our wretched souls, even though he's done everything to give us a beautiful world to live in, even though Jesus was NOT a "disciple" of God (But actually GOD HIMSELF) even though he lost his life (and regained it!!!) for the wretched things we do---

We still don't want him. Even if we could prove to this man that God existed, he wouldn't want anything to do with him. That's the depravity of our sin nature.

So how does anyone come to God? How do we get over our desire to be divine?

That my friends, is the beauty of the gospel. A mystery that's inexplicable. Jesus changes our thoughts and our hearts---he transforms us.

What a great and glorious God!!!!!!

The Armor of God Means Abiding, Not Fighting.

Lately I've been trying to learn the "Full Armor of God". This is something that's very difficult for me, memorization doesn't come easy. I can memorize things for a moment, but after they're not needed... I can't tell you at all what I memorized. Which is why this is taking me forever. But see, I don't want to just memorize it, I want to need it every day. As I am reading the Full Armor of God in Ephesians 6:11-18, I did a word search on the different pieces of Armor, and I've learned a lot from these things.

First, Paul tells us that we take up the full armor of God "That you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand firm" (Ephesians 6:13 ESV). I find it really interesting that Paul doesn't tell us to grab the sword, lace up our boots, and charge into battle. Instead he simply says "stand firm". So that's the first thing that caught my attention.

Secondly, Paul goes through each piece of armor that was typically used in Roman times. But I love how he describes each piece:
1. Belt of Truth
2. Breastplate of Righteousness
3. Shoes (Readiness) given by the gospel of peace
4. Shield of Faith
5. Helmet of Salvation
6. Sword of the Spirit (the Word of God)
Most of my usual readers have heard sermons, and done studies on these pieces of armor, and what area of the body they protect, why the Romans used them, etc. But I found something really interesting this time around.
Everything is a gift from God, everything points back to Jesus!!Now wait, what do I mean by that? Well... Look:

1. Belt of Truth

• "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no man comes to the Father but through me." John 14:6 

• "The sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous rules endures forever." Psalm 119:160

Truth only comes from God. We can't wake up in the morning and say, "Hey, I'm going to personify truth, everything I say is going to be truthful. I will only tell the truth today." It doesn't work, we fall flat on our faces every time we try. Instead, we have to look to a. Christ, and b. his word in order to grasp and understand truth.


2. Breastplate of Righteousness

• "Righteousness shall be the belt of his waist, and faithfulness the belt of his loins." Isaiah 11:5

• "But now righteousness has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it--the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe." Romans 3:21 &22

Righteousness is only achievable through Jesus, in fact, he is so righteous, he wears it like a belt. There are other verses that declare how awful we are compared to Christ, but the gift of God is righteousness through God's Son.

3. Shoes of Peace and Readiness

At first these things seem impossible to coexist, yet God is amazing and has given us readiness and peace, all at the same time.

• "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27

• "For God is not a God of confusion but of peace." 1 Corinthians 14: 33

Jesus personifies peace, and he left it with us! Peace given by the gospel, and that peace is such an amazing experience, that it demands we be ready to share it whenever someone asks how we can be so "calm despite the storm" life may throw us. We can't have this peace without having Jesus.

4. Shield of Faith

• "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

Faith is founded and perfected through Christ. We can't produce faith on our own.

5.  Helmet of Salvation
This ones easy guys, I'm quickly running out of time as I type this post, but I'm going to guess you already know that:
Salvation is only through the blood of Christ. Not works of righteousness (Which, we already covered, righteousness comes from God!)

6. Sword of the Spirit (The Word of God)
We can't have God's word, without having God.

Isn't it amazing that the whole armor of God has to do with Jesus?! Every morning, we aren't to wake up and try to fight the devil, instead we wake up in the morning and put on Jesus.

I love how my youth pastor put it last week: "We are to be Jesus to God (worship), Jesus to believers (fellowship), and Jesus to unbelievers (evangelism)"

So how do we put on Christ?
Jesus already figured we would not be able to grasp how to be like him every day without exactly spelling it out, letter for letter, for us. So he did:

"Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:3-5

How cool is that? We get our energy to thrive, energy to be ready, and everything from Christ. It makes a little more sense when you re-read the first verse of the "armor of God" now doesn't it?
We're just supposed to "stand firm". We "stand firm" in Christ, he does the work, he helps us bear fruit!!

A lot of times, this seems way too easy. So we go looking for other ways to arm ourselves against life, and the "spiritual powers of darkness". We're a lot like David and the King. David decided to stand up for God's army, and went to tell Saul about it. Well, Saul knew that this little shepherd boy was going to go fight this 9 foot tall man. There's no way David would win "with just God", so Saul gave him some actual armor (probably to soothe his conscious.)

"The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.” Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you.” Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off."  1 Samuel 17:37-39

 So David, of course, goes out to fight Goliath. Goliath teases him saying:
 

"He said to David, “Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. “Come here,” he said, “and I’ll give your flesh to the birds and the wild animals! ”David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.”

This is what we need to clothe ourselves in, Jesus Christ, him crucified, and raised.  Our war isn't against flesh and blood, but we also aren't fighting with foolish weapons, we need to stop chasing our idols and pursuing Christ, abiding in him, and letting the God give us the victory. I too often try to protect myself from things by doing stupid things that won't protect me. I try to avoid getting hurt by people, by not getting involved. I lash out at people when they're only joking, or only when they're trying to help, because I figure I have to protect myself. But I don't. God protects me.
I hope that this lesson that I'm slowly but surely learning will help you as your learning how to abide in Christ!
Keep Sinking Up :)

Oxygen Please!

I am so sick of not being able to breathe. Honestly? Who's idea was it to get a cold in MAY?!
Oh. Right.... Sorry God :/
I think I'm ill because I've been running absolutely NON-STOP for about two weeks. It all started on the 27th of April, we took my Mom out for her birthday. Then Monday... it happened. Not only was it finals week, but my Uncle died of cancer. Family flew in from New York and Colorado, and stayed at our house, we had a viewing, a funeral, and I had my finals. That Saturday I went to two friends parties, and Sunday we went over to my Aunts house to give her some company. Monday was my last day of finals. My Grandparents left on Thursday. Then Friday was prom, and Saturday I worked audio for a recital, and attended my friends graduation.
-takes a breath-
Sunday. I woke up unable to breathe. (Having asthma is a horrible, terrible, awful thing.) So I didn't go to church... because I have a busy week this week too. But the good news about this cold is:
I've been forced to stop doing stuff. I've literally HAD to "chill out".
So. I watch Netflix, read books I've been dying to read all this summer.
Speaking of Summer.
Cool things,
1. I wasn't looking for a job, but God's provided 2 consistent jobs. One on Saturday's, the other two days a week.
2. The rest of the summer is MINNNNNNNNEEE MWHAHAHAA!!

So. Because I'm ill, and the rest of my family is watching some TV show called Robin Hood.... I'm going to make a list of things I really want to do this summer:
1. Read books!! I have a whole bunch of books I really want to read, the one on the very top of my list is called; "Not a Fan"... I have no idea if it's any good, I found it in Walmart, and decided to look it up on Amazon. I need to find a place I can borrow it from, because even though I'm going to HAVE two jobs, I don't have one now... thus I can't afford the book.
2. I really want to finish the upstairs. I put a picture of what it used to look like up there, it looks better now... but it still needs work. It's going to be an epic Art Room when I'm done.
3. I want to scrapbook when that Art Room is finished.
4. I seriously am considering making the Bible into a script, making "sets", "costumes", etc. It's the way my brain works... so I figure, why not make the Bible a little easier for me to understand? Get some background information on the times, and put a timeline of Jesus' life together. It'd be epic.
5. I want to learn guitar, I don't know if I'll actually make time for this want... but eventually I want to know how to play.
6. I want to blog... with pictures... more often, but I don't know that my life is actually that thrilling that I'll have stuff to post.
ANYWHO. I want to enjoy this summer, I'm going to have to do SOME stuff for school.. but I really want to enjoy the "last" summer of my life. (Okay maybe not THE last, but it feels like it!)
That's about it...
I'm hoping I don't have to go on Advair for my asthma. That stuff makes me entirely loopy.
But I really would like to have some OXYGEN.

Amendment One

This post is all about Amendment One. I've debated writing on Amendment One for a while now. But I haven't done it because I have friends who are bi or gay, and by no means to I wish to hurt them, or cause an argument with them... or even between my friends who are straight, but supportive of gays.... or even between straight friends who are utterly opposed to gay marriages.
So before I write anything, you should know (and probably have already guessed) I believe that the Bible is the word of God. I believe that Jesus is the son of one God, who exists in three persons. (Confused? We can talk about it later.) My point is, is that by societies standards I'm one of those "freaky cultish Christian folks", which if you read my blog for any length of time, you could figure out pretty quickly.

Now realize that as I write this, I generally don't state my beliefs right off the bat, I want to question others about what they think and acknowledge as truth, and generally just want to make people think. But because this is such a hot button issue, I decided it's important that you know where I stand.

Secondly, I want to put in another thing before I write any further, I do not wish to shove my beliefs down someone's throat...in fact, the Bible discourages it. As a Christian, my duty is to share with you and everyone else I meet or write to, that Jesus died to save your soul. If you think it's ridiculous and that I'm crazy, so be it... but you may not wish to be around me, because what Jesus did for me affected me so much that I can't help talking about it. (THAT is biblical, but 'shoving religion down throats' is nowhere in the Bible...) If you consider me talking all the time about someone I love "shoving religion" then I suggest you don't read any further.

 

So what about gay marriage? Because I have stated before that I am a believer in Christ, then you can assume that my standard are from the scriptures, regardless of what the constitution says. 

So does the Bible actually prohibit being gay? 

Many Christians say it does not, they will say that is only an "Old Testament" belief, and that Jesus would have supported gay marriage because he demands we should; "love your neighbors as yourself" (Matthew 22:39) 

But I would disagree... because earlier in the same book of the Bible, Jesus talks about divorce. In the passage he says:

"Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh'?" (Matthew 19:4-5)

Granted, this passage could be said to be 'ripping out of context' so let's take the idea even further. In Romans Paul talks about people who do not accept Jesus as the Son of God. He talks about the different things that God considers sin... well, I'll just let you read it: (and if you are not sure about what I'm writing I encourage you to read the whole passage and make sure I'm not warping God's Word)

"For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. .... Though they know God's decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them, but give approval to those who practice them." (Romans 1:26-27&32)

If you are a still reading this, then I can safely assume you're either very angry or heartily applauding... but I'm not done yet.

You can see now, why so many Christian's are saying that this is a bad thing... if you even "give approval" by this passage, then you're in huge trouble. But Paul wasn't finished writing:

"Therefore you have no excuses, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.(Romans 2:1-3)

Now my fellow Christian's are saying "Woah, woah, woah my dear friend, I am in no way homosexual!!" and my gay friends are shouting "You know *that's* right!!!" but hold the fort.....

I think Amendment One is good. (because I have the assumption that there are moral absolutes, if you don't... then you're claiming that I'm absolutely wrong... and that would be an absolute, but that's a different debate altogether.) Marriage is defined in the scriptures as between one man and one woman, and I would say that it needs to stay that way....but am I judging? Here's where things get a little interesting... (and I'll get back to this, I promise!!)

Amendment One should be passed, in my opinion. But this is based on a religious belief and according to America, we should have the freedom to our life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. (As well as a generally held belief that wasn't in the original constitution that we should have a separation of church and state.) This is a huge can of worms, and I'm not eloquent enough to deal with all the issues at once. I realize that when you are finished reading this I will probably have a lot of nasty comments to dig through... and that's okay.

We in America are allowed to have freedom, but we believe that some things are inherently wrong. Murder would be one of those things as well as child abuse. Casey Anthony is a huge proof of that. But we aren't all 100% agreed on where we get those things we call values. But in America today, we are not built upon a church-government.
So yes, if the only basis for Amendment One is religion, then *technically* the government can't pass it. But here's the wrench that's thrown into the mix: We're ruled by the people, not the government...

And technically we have the right to amend the constitution if we believe it has put too much power into the governments hands (instead of the peoples) or if we feel that it doesn't control us enough. So the reality is that when it comes to Amendment One, the people have the right to decide whether it goes into practice or not. Where the beliefs are that factor into one's opinion has nothing to do with whether it can be counted as a valid vote.

So now that we have that out of the way, I want to go back to my previous question:

Is this a judgmental attitude towards bisexual and homosexual people? 

Yes, because in the Scriptures it states that if I approve of these things, then it's basically the same as doing them and God doesn't approve of those things. But God also says we shouldn't judge... so where in the world should we stand on this one?? Let's re-read that passage again: 

"Therefore you have no excuses, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.(Romans 2:1-3)

Practice the very same things. Well then we're in the clear right? As long as I'm not gay, then I don't need to fear. God doesn't say, "Thou shalt not judge". He does say we need to be careful about condemning people, that's his job. But the real truth is, God holds every sin equal. In fact, in James it says:  

"For whoever keeps the whole law, but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. " (James 2:10)

 So me, not respecting food the way I should, or me, not respecting my parents, telling crude jokes, or using inappropriate language... is just as bad as homosexuality, and in the presence before a Holy God, I fall completely short. If I fail in even just one of the commandments, then I'm going to hell. Homosexuality is a serious sin, but so is ignoring any of God's other demands on our lives. So why are we so quick to point out a brother's sin, when we won't deal with our own.

Homosexuality is wrong. Amendment One should be passed, but I also think it should be "illegal" to talk back to one's parents. But the truth is that we aren't in a Christian nation, and God didn't ask us to make one. He told us to make disciples, and watch and wait for Jesus to come back and make the perfect world. So while we're here, we do what we can. Amendment One should be passed.

But if you're still reading after all of this, and you disagree (or even do agree) with me, I want to point out a much larger truth here: (Because Paul also talks about not getting into frivolous arguments "Have nothing to do with foolish ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels" (2 Timothy 2:23)

If all religions are the same, and we're all just trying to earn our way to God, then why would someone pick this religion.  How in the world would we ever "get" to God? Why would we want to? This God considers gossiping the same thing as homosexuality, which to him is the same thing as murder.

With such a terrible demand on ourselves, how could we ever desire or even achieve a relationship with this God??? He's so untouchable. If I even use the Lord's name in vain, I'm going to hell. If I talk back to my parents even once. I'm kicked out of heaven. With such a high demand, I can never balance out all the good things I do with all my bad things. In fact, no one can make it.

What an unloving God. What a wrathful, unloving God. So why even try?

But here's the thing:
We don't have to earn our way to heaven!!!!!

God not only is a Holy, "untouchable" God, but he also loves us to no end. He'd do whatever it would take to be with us. But because God is perfect, he can't be around imperfect people...that would make him imperfect and he would then cease to be God (which is why there's such a huge demand on us through 'laws'). But he also knew we were incapable of being perfect because we're human.Someone needed to pay the penalty of our imperfectness, and somehow make us righteous. So he actually lived and died for us. He came to earth as a man, fully God, and fully human. He lived the perfect life that he knew we couldn't. Then he died so that the penalty of sin (sin is just our imperfectness) would be paid off. Now through Jesus' death are we made perfect, but through his resurrection we can be with this God (who loves us!!!!!) for forever.

He did all the work for us. Gay people, Bi people, Straight people. He did it all for us.

So what does it all mean??

We're perfect! Once you accept it and believe it as truth--- yeah, God *actually* did that. It should change every part of you!!
Repent. Believe. It's not that hard. Begin to be changed by this God. Begin to see your gossip as it is. Begin to see sin in it's reality--- and amazingly, you'll realize you're just as bad off as the next guy. Fight your sins together as a body of believers. Love the people who don't know this truth, and are acting the only way they know how. Show them what Jesus has done, and together fight your sin because of the amazing sacrifice God gave you.
"So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." (2 Timothy 2:22)

Avioms are....

I was trying to explain to my mother how an Aviom worked. Our conversation went like this:
Me: "So you have the sound board in the back of the room, and the band on stage. They have monitors so that they can hear themselves. Well, sometimes it gets really annoying to have to keep tweaking the sound they want. So you give them an Aviom."
Mom: "Well can you still control how loud it is? So that they don't decide they'd sound awesome at full power?"
Me: "Yes. From the board you can set a limit---say "10" ... so what the Aviom does, is it allows them to mix the piano at say, "4" themselves at "6"... but they still can't go any higher then 10."
and then she says.....

Mom: "So basically what you're saying is that it's like a volume limit on a piano. The kid still gets to have fun, and thinks he's got the rule, but you're actually still in control."
 

Me: "AHAHAHAHA! Yes. I've never heard it explained that way, but yes...."