Afterlife

I've tasted fire, I'm ready to come alive
I can't just shut it up, and fake that I'm alright
I'm ready now, I'm not waiting for the afterlife

I let it burn the way that sunlight burns my skin
The way I feel inside, the way the day begins
I'm ready now, I'm not waiting for the other side
I'm ready now, I'm ready now..........

Cuz everyday, the world is made
A chance to change, but I feel the same
And I wonder, why would I wait till I die to come alive?
I'm ready now, I'm not waiting for the afterlife.

I still believe we can live forever
You and I we begin forever now
Forever now
I still believe in us together
You and I we're here together now
Forever now, forever now
Or never now

Every day, a choice is made
Every day, I chose my fate
And I wonder, why would I wait till I die to come alive?
To come alive?
Every day, every day, every day, I still feel the same
And I wonder, why would I wait till I die to come alive?
I'm ready now, I'm not waiting for the afterlife
I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready
I'm ready now, I'm not waiting for the afterlife

 Okay, well first things first on this one; the music is absolutely horrible. I mean really? How hard is it to strum THAT guitar pattern? I was seriously disappointed in this song. There's no meat to the music!! It's almost as lame as autotuning a whole song (no offense to all you Kanye fans out there.) The next thing I want to mention about this song is the strangeness of the lyrics. At first I was aghast that Switchfoot would put this as the FIRST song on their album... as I misunderstood the point of the lyrics.
"Why would I wait till I die to come alive" I originally thought meant that Switchfoot was not going to wait for the treasures of heaven, but was going to seek all the pleasures they could here on earth. I was a little shocked at this and was ashamed that I had supported a message like this.
Further listening to the album opened up a whole different view, personally I love the appearance of the song in the last song "thrive" it ties the whole album together perfectly, and gives this "Hello Hurricane" flair to the CD.
In the end I must say I like the lyrics to this song. Because rather than saying we should do whatever we want, it really points towards living for Christ. It's really quite fantastic. We need to live like every day we're standing before the father, giving an account for the things we said and did. Would he be proud of us?
I'm going to just leave with that thought... because
1. I'm freezing
2. I have school in the morning and I'm NOT a night person.
3. If you guys are totally more interested in what's happening in my life and want me to quite the Switchfoot rant, lemme know.
4. I'm cold.....

Dark Horses

I decided to post about this song first because, well technically I was talking about it with a friend of mine, and promised I would put it on my blog.
The other reason is because I actually really love this song with a passion. The chorus didn't make sense to me... well till a few minutes ago.

I made my mistakes
I seen my heart cave in
I got my scars
I been to hell and back again

Born for the blue skies
We’ll survive the rain
Born for the sunrise
We’ll survive the pain

We’re singing…
Hey, you can’t count us out
We’ve been running up against the crowd
Yeah, we are the dark horses
We’re singing…
Wait! It’s not over now
We’ve been down but we’ve never been out
Yeah, we are the dark horses

We found the way out
The city takes everything it can
But outside the crowds
I can feel my lungs again

Born for the blue skies
We’ll survive the rain
Born for the sunrise
We’ll survive the pain

We’re singing…
Hey, you can’t count us out
We’ve been running up against the crowd
Yeah, we are the dark horses
We’re singing…
Wait, don’t care what they say
We know we’ll find a way
Yeah! We are the dark horses

Keep running with the dark horses
Hope makes the blood change courses
Keep running with the dark horses
Stand up with the dark horses
Keep running with the dark horses
Hope makes the blood change courses

 This was one of the best songs off of this album. I absolutely loved it. However, I couldn't understand what the term "Dark Horses" was supposed to stand for.... I understood the concept of the song, but didn't understand what Jon was trying to say with the specific analogy of "Dark Horses".  So of course, I ask my family.. who a lot of times are smarter than me when it comes to interpreting song meanings. But none of them knew. My brother attempted to help me out by suggesting that it had to do with the black horse in Revelation. However, after reading the passage... that made even less sense.
So what do you do when all else fails?
GOOGLE.
I found this article by pluggedin.com, which explained the term perfectly.

"If you look up the phrase dark horse in Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, here's the first definition you'll find: "A usually little known contender (such as a racehorse) that makes an unexpectedly good showing, or an entrant in a contest that is judged unlikely to succeed." In the spirit of that definition, the lead single from Switchfoot's eighth studio album, Vice Verses, is a straight-up anthem for the underdogs of the world—no more, no less."

This makes absolutely perfect sense. Most people know that Switchfoot started out under a Christian Label (and no, I don't mean they called their music Christian, I mean they were employed by people who did Christian music. But that's another argument for a different time.) and most people know that the Christian faith strongly affects Jon's lyrics. I think this is true for this song.

Many times Christians are shunned, and mocked. They are seen as just another religious cult, they don't get much attention (unless it's to be ridiculed.) In fact, the scriptures talk about how the world will hate Christians. Luke 21:17 says; "And everyone will hate you because you are my followers." (NLT) We are constantly seen as underdogs, but we need to "rise above it" (yet another song on the album)

This however is just one of the reasons that can be 'read into' the song. Jon said on pluggedin.com:"For me the true underdogs are the people who didn't chose their situation, but are rising above it.For me that song the 'Dark Horses' is all about the homeless kids back in San Diego, specifically the ones who are being helped out by [the nonprofit organization] StandUp For Kids. It's always nice when you have a song you are passionate about singing night after night that has a deeper meaning than simply another verse and another chorus."

The music is beautiful in this song as well. I'm kinda running out of time to blog.. so I have to make this section quick. This song has the grungier feel that Switchfoot is famous for. It kinda has the same feel as "The Sound" but not even that..This song is one of those unexplainables... it's what makes Switchfoot one of my favorite bands. You can't really describe their music with precision. It's unique.
If you can come up with a better explanation. Please do. You can some how write annonymously if you're scared I'll know who you are and will disagree with you or something.
Basically just write on my blog... Even if you totally hate what I'm saying. It's nice to know I at least have readers! :)
I really do need to go now though.
THANKS FOR LISTENING TO MY RANDOM RAMBLINGS.

Track List Links for Vice Verses

So my next blogpost dealing with Switchfoot is going to be something positive.
Originally I wanted to go in track-order. But, I decided against it. BECAUSE I CAN. <--lil joke thar.
If you get lost, I'll try and consistently update THIS post, by placing the track-order here, and linking to the post that deals with each song on each song name:

1. Afterlife
2.The Original
3.The War Inside
4. Restless
5. Blinding Light
6. Selling the News
7. Thrive
8. Dark Horses
9.Souvenirs
10. Rise Above It
11. Vice Verses
12. Where I Belong

Now I'm going to make a new post with what I actually intended to post about.

Oh, Switchfoot! Why Can't you Keep it Together?

Hey guys! So, I actually don't have any homework due until Tuesday... which means I have time to post a new blog post!!!

I decided I would write about the new Switchfoot Album -Vice Verses.
I recently bought the album, and was very excited when I saw that it was coming out on a day when I had a bunch of tests. I figured it'd be the highlight of my day. Which, buying new music always is, when I was finished with the new Switchfoot Album, I was left wanting.

Now I know this sounds like heresy to any devout Switchfoot fan. Which is partly why I feel I need to make these posts into really lengthy posts. I've never seriously critiqued something on my blog before (which you all know) So if this is horrible and you're extremely bored.... go read another blog.

Okay, actually don't. I love you all and your readings, and would absolutely LOVE to get some ratings on how well you agree with me (or disagree) and then tell me whether to shut up or not. Okay? Okay. THANKS.

So first things first. I intend to write about the album as a whole, then each individual song, then the album as a whole in conclusion. Though I may not get to do that, at least it's the idea. SO, without further ado (MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING I SEE.):

Vice Verses.


First of all I must say that I was completely thrilled when this album came out. I had been waiting since Hello Hurricane to listen to this newest album. 
In an interview found on landofbrokenhearts.org, Jon Foreman talked a little bit about how the new Album was going to sound:

"LJ: Is there any particular direction you’re heading toward after Hello, Hurricane?
JF: I think the next CD is going to be quite a bit different. We’ve been talking around the idea about a double album. The name of the next CD is called Vice-Verses, and I think it’s a chance to show off even more diversity than Hello, Hurricane."

It was also rumored that a song called "Until You Lose One" was going to be on the album, with the lyrics "You don't know a friend until you lose one."
I personally was very excited for the darker themes of Vice Verses, my favorite album of Switchfoot's has always been "Nothing is Sound" because it deals with the darker side of life, it doesn't ignore the pain. I heard from a friend of mine that Vice Verses was supposed to follow along that vein.

To continue the journey, in June of 2010, LOBH posted some new songs that were supposed to be on Vice Verses, Check out the post here. For me personally the biggest letdown was the fact that Switchfoot didn't put the song on their album called "Against the Voices".
Here are some of the lyrics:

Start the day against the voices
The ones that tell me that I’m wrong
I hear them now screaming their delusions
I close my eyes and they’re gone If they ain’t singing, if they’re just talking
Let them keep talking to themselves
Cause everybody knows
That the hardest war to fight
Is a fight to be yourself in a world
That wants to turn you into someone else

The lyrics and tune of this song was fantastic, and can be found here.
Come Home was also another one rumored to be on there. I absolutely love this song, I found it while I was writing this post and you MUST listen to it. The lyrics are here. The song is here.
So when the album listing came out I was very disappointed with the songs that were cut. In the beginning I was thrilled with the list, and wish I could find the original one on LOBH, however I cannot at this time. If you find it please comment at the bottom of this post and let me know where to find it. THANKS
I'll comment later on the songs that made it to the album.

The overall sound of Vice Verses was a little more pop-ish to my liking. I was expecting the more grungy-alternative feel/sound of Switchfoot, and was rather surprised with what was supposedly "bold" music. It sounded a little too much like the common low bass beat that everyone is obsessed with lately. For me this was NOT a "beautiful letdown". I was expecting at least something less mainstream, and was surprised by the fact that Switchfoot not only made us wait so long, but it felt as though the songs were more rushed and lazily put together than the long wait we endured.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Switchfoot, but as a whole the album was dissapointing. I did LOVE certain songs, which I will write more on later, but that's the first section of my Switchfoot Vice Verses rant.
I guess every blessing comes with a set of curses. :)
-SinkingUp

Well. That's a Lot of Words.

I don't know about you, but this and the past week has been kinda "blehh" for me. Not like, "THIS IS THE WORST WEEK OF MY LIFE EVER." kind of "bleeh" but the " I really just don't want to get up and do what I have to another day of my life. I just want to go home." kinda "bleh".

This whole "school" thing is new to me. I went to school yes, but I didn't have to get up, make a lunch, get specific books ready, go to class, then come home. (Granted, I wish my schedule were that simple, but you get the picture) Being homeschooled I could get up when I wanted, and do my schoolwork when I wanted, and be DONE by noon if I wanted to.

College is definitely different. It's not that there's anymore work to be done, it's just that it takes so much longer. I've hardly had anytime to myself, and when I do, I don't feel like doing any of the things I'd like to do. So instead I just check my Facebook, watch a movie, or go to bed. I used to be really great at time management.... now it seems to be my shortcoming!!!

A lot of kids told me that there seemed to be more freedom in college.

I have yet to experience this. Instead I seem to be drowning in homework and responsibilities. (Okayokay, so it's not THAT bad... but I do have like waaayyy less free time than I did.)

I was also told I was "unsocialized", and that when I finally went to a "real school" I'd learn how to be social. I find this to be false. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking that that's true. I no longer can have friends over on the weekdays, a "school night" is now in my vocabulary. There are only so many weekends in a month, which means I can only have 3 to 4 friends over in one month. (HOW SAD IS THAT HOMESCHOOLERS???)

The second thing I wish to say is, please don't pick on my grammar, the format I type this blog in, or the fact that I'm not using "Times New Roman." Also please ignore the fact that this is NOT the second thing I've said. Serriously. I know I spelled that wrong. No, really.

Okayokayokayokay. I really did have a point to this post. REALLY! Simple things like "another sheet of homework.","another paper due","another weekend event missed because I have homework and can't drive", or even the mantra "I need money", tends to steal our (or at least my!) joy. The thing is no matter how routine or frustrating my life gets, I always will have a reason to be joyful. Yes, even on a Monday when I have math class, I have a reason to be joyful.

Why? Because I have been rescued from death. I am loved, and wanted. My strive for purity doesn't offend someone, in fact it pleases him. No matter how "painful" a Monday morning gets, I can smile because I know that I have something better coming for me.
Come on you guys, I know you get the same way. Sometimes the daily "grind" is just so hard. You're sick of people thinking your a goody-two-shoes, sometimes Holiness is such a hassle! (Uhoh, did I just say that? YOU KNOW YOU'VE THOUGHT IT!!) Sometimes stopping to pray before you eat gets so many strange looks, it makes it unfun to do. Even though you really are thankful that God provided food, sometimes it's hard to thank him in front of someone who thinks God doesn't exist.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is:

Keep your chin up! Don't forget the promises God made you!

"So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and none will take your joy from you." ... "I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." (John 16:22&33)

So I know the week is almost over, IT'S FRIDAY. But if you're doing what I was doing a few moments ago, sulking because of your circumstances:
Whether that be:
Your single and don't have a date tonight
You are dreading the weekend.
Or something as dumb as; You graduated from highschool early and you can't drive to a concert on a Friday night.

Remember that it's just the world. It's just one night out of a bajillion nights the Lord could give you on this earth. Instead of sulking, write a song, list your blessings, remember you're loved no matter how "single" you feel. You're never alone, you're never going through the "daily grind" without someone helping carry the load with you.

"So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and none will take your joy from you." ... "I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." (John 16:22&33)

The Endless Fight

You again? I thought I had disposed of you long ago, but no. This seems to be an endless fight. Once again, you approach me in the dark. Why?
You approach me when I thought all was well in my walk. But I was fooled, for there were shadows lurking all around me.
So I rise, and face you just like I have in the past. I raise my hands to defend my face, but before I can lift them, your hand has brushed my face, and blood is streaming from the cut you left. Your hands are burning like flames against my chest. My knees are filled with a chill, as the heat from your hatred cripples me. Walking forward is no longer an option. What happened to the confidence I once strutted with? The peace I once claimed was mine?
Your very presence has crushed it.
You have taken my hands, and shook them with such great strength that I can no longer defend myself with them.
You have halted me along my path, and now.... Now I am fallen.
My breath comes in short gasps, and you?
You laugh as you slowly strangle me. As the smile plays on your lips I see your very thoughts. You knew that I could not last forever. You knew that death was something every human must face. One day, even you... Will have to face it.

But for now, you have control.

You crave it, like the beast craves flesh. Like the flames crave fuel.

All the while I slowly fade. As my eyes begin to close, with the taste of my own blood on my lips.... Things go black.
Suddenly your hands are no longer crushing my neck, your knees are no longer pressed into my chest... but I do not notice. For I have slipped into unconsciousness.

Time passes, how much? I do not know. But it is long. For when I awake, the shadows that had penetrated my soul have passed.

My head is throbbing, and the cut on my cheek is swollen and bruised. But then I look, and here stands another. His face holds an identical slice on the cheek as mine. But there is one difference, he has two of those cuts. One on each cheek. He reaches down and gives me his hand, I take it.

What is this? My mind races. Questions swirl thickly threw my battered mind. But then they cease, and I look ... those wounds aren't new. They are scars. This man has faced YOU before???
Yet how has he won? No man has ever won. Little battles maybe, but to pry YOU off of a victim when the victory was seconds away?
Never.
As I open my mouth to speak, he looks deeply at me.

I am forever silenced.

For when he looked at me, he said the words I had been waiting to hear all my life:

"It is finished."

He faced you, Fear. And won the battle. And here he stands to help me fight you.

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” -Romans 8:15

Watch Me.

We last left the scene with the human giving God permission to tear down a wall that he had let stand for years. The wall was broken and wouldn’t let light into the center of the human’s heart. It was a wall of protection, but it not only held out the bad things, it wouldn’t let in the good. God told the human that it was time for the wall to come down, although nervous and unsure about what was going to happen, the human gave God permission to tear down the stone wall, allowing God to transform the human’s stony heart.

We now re-enter the scene. The wall is shattered into pieces, and shards lie at the human’s feet. The human stands in the center of what the wall had surrounded. He is examining what has just occurred. God stands close by, watching his child with gentle eyes.
The human steps over the debris, and storms over to God, “I don’t like it!!” The human stomps his foot indignantly and crosses his arms in defiance.

God waits for the human to continue, “NO! This isn’t right! This is NOT what we agreed on.”
“It’s not my child?” God asks, watching his loved one closely.
“No, it’s not. I don’t like it at all. This doesn’t feel good.” The human rushes over to the ruins and quickly tries to put one stone back on top of another.
“Child….” God takes his loved one’s hand away from the debris, picks him up, carries him away from the construction site, and sets him down on a wall that he has created. “I know you are frustrated, but you must talk to me.”
“I… I don’t want to, that wall needs to be fixed---NOW.” He squirms on top of the wall, trying to reach the construction site, but God stops him with a steady hand.

“No, my child, you said that this could be done.”
“But I didn’t know THAT,” pointing to the fallen wall, “is what you meant!!”

God takes the child off of the wall and holds him closely, speaking softly into his ear, God says, “It’ll be alright my child.” He then pulls His child away from Himself and looks at him in the eye, “I love you.”
“If you loved me you wouldn’t let me go through such pain!” He avoids God’s gentle eyes, refusing to accept what He has said.

“My child, did you not say I could tear down the wall?”

“Well… Yeah, but you said you were going to protect me!! This is not protection! I am bare, I have nothing! This is an open wound and it needs to be healed! This hurts!”
The human has hot tears flowing down his cheeks. He has never felt such emptiness before. The wall has always stood strong and never let anything in. But the human had forgotten what lay behind it. What was behind was now open for all to see, and he wasn’t sure he liked being watched.
“My child, I am not done yet,” God gently reminds him. “This is but the beginning of what I am doing.”
“But can’t you go faster???”
“No my child, this is right for you. You asked me to change you, and this is one of the things needing change the most. You have allowed me to go this far, will you not let me complete the work I have begun?”
“But it hurts so badly!” The human cringes in pain.
“My child, I understand your pain. I know what it feels like to lose something close to you. But you have forgotten the ending; it won’t always be like this.”

“But what can I do in the meantime? This hurts, I don’t know if I can keep going.” The human shivers and wraps his arms around himself.
“You are not alone. You have forgotten that I am here with you. Do you need anything else?” God’s inquisitive eyes bore into the human’s soul.
Looking at the debris and then at God, the human says reticently, “As much as I don’t like this… I know you can be trusted, but to do what? I’m not sure anymore…”
“You can trust me to never leave you, and trust that what I’m doing is best for you.” God waits for that statement to sink in, then He begins again, love wrapping its way around His words, “Now, I have some instructions for you. Will you listen?”
“Yes.”

“I want you to watch me.”
“That’s it?” cried the human, with a look of confusion crossing his face. “Don’t you want help building or something??”

God smiles warmly, and replies, “No, I just want you to watch me. You have been focusing on what has been going on around you, watching this wall fall… I don’t want you to watch that anymore. I want YOU, to watch ME.”
Glancing quickly at the fallen wall, the human says, “But what about the wall?”
“I’ll take care of that… Do you trust me?”
The human thought about it, considering the pain he was experiencing, and the truth of God’s words. Finally the human answers with conviction, “Yes Lord, I trust you.”

“Then watch me, and wait.”
We leave the scene with those instructions reverberating around the human’s heart.

Attalus

Hey all!! :)
So, I have a huge favor to ask of you guys!!!
There's this really awesome band that is from my church, and they're about to start on their first real album. They need help though, they're college kids...and poor. :) Please go check them out!!


If you wish to pledge then please click here

If you wish to hear more of them before you pledge, please contact me. Here's some of their stuff:
Obviously the recording is not fantastic, that's what they're going for with this new project :)

Completely Crazy

God's spirit dwells inside of us.

Yeah, I know. Something we already know as Christians. But sit back and think on that again. Just because it's good to meditate on:

God's spirit dwells inside of us.

I didn't realize how important of a concept this was until just the other day as I was reading in

1Corinthians 2:11-16

No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.

When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means. Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. For,

“Who can know the Lord’s thoughts?
Who knows enough to teach him?”

But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.

I still don't completely get the impact of all of this, it's kind of mind blowing. When we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior he seals his promise to keep us with his Spirit. (It's no longer I who live but Christ who lives IN me Gal 2:20)

When Christ is in us we have a whole new perspective on things.

"Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct." (Galatians 6:4 &5)

When Christ is in us, suddenly the world thinks we're mental. Completely Crazy.
I have a perfect example for this.

This morning I took a walk around the neighborhood and sat down at the little pond that we have there. I took my Bible and started reading out-loud ( I have an issue with reading... Long story short, I understand better when I can hear myself.) So I'm sitting there reading out loud, praying, singing. Just you know... Being with God. Then the ducks waddle up, and I start talking to them. Suddenly the trash guy pulls up. It occurred to me..

"I look completely nuts."

Which of course, made me laugh out loud.

Poor trash guy.

Anyways, I thought I would share this verse that's been hitting me in the stomach lately
"As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world's interest in me has also died." Gal 6:14

People may not always think your sitting completely on your rocker. But God dwells inside of you, loves you, and will never leave you. What people think doesn't matter anymore. We have a Savior who loves us dearly... and that's all that matters :)

Hebrews... The perspective of an ill lighting tech

Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. -Aesop
I thought this was an excellent quote, especially considering what happens when we look at Hebrews 10:1-18:

The old system under the law of Moses was only a shadow, a dim preview of the good things to come, not the good things themselves. The sacrifices under that system were repeated again and again, year after year, but they were never able to provide perfect cleansing for those who came to worship. If they could have provided perfect cleansing, the sacrifices would have stopped, for the worshipers would have been purified once for all time, and their feelings of guilt would have disappeared.But instead, those sacrifices actually reminded them of their sins year after year. For it is not possible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. That is why, when Christ came into the world, he said to God,

“You did not want animal sacrifices or sin offerings.

But you have given me a body to offer.You were not pleased with burnt offerings or other offerings for sin. Then I said, ‘Look, I have come to do your will, O God—as is written about me in the Scriptures.’”

First, Christ said, “You did not want animal sacrifices or sin offerings or burnt offerings or other offerings for sin, nor were you pleased with them” (though they are required by the law of Moses). Then he said, “Look, I have come to do your will.” He cancels the first covenant in order to put the second into effect. For God’s will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time.

Under the old covenant, the priest stands and ministers before the altar day after day, offering the same sacrifices again and again, which can never take away sins. But our High Priest offered himself to God as a single sacrifice for sins, good for all time. Then he sat down in the place of honor at God’s right hand. There he waits until his enemies are humbled and made a footstool under his feet. For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy.

And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says,“This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the Lord: I will put my laws in their hearts,and I will write them on their minds.”Then he says,“I will never again remembertheir sins and lawless deeds.”And when sins have been forgiven, there is no need to offer any more sacrifices.

Too many times we are looking at the shadow's and are so mesmerized by them. As a lighting technician, I completely understand this. One of the main things you're doing is trying to make shadows so that it will enhance the look of things, but you also want to diminish them, so that they're not distracting.
Think about it, if you were to go to a concert and someone didn't turn the lights on, it'd be like being blind. You could only enjoy part of the concert, the music side. Which is one of the main reasons you're going... But if there's no light, there's no way to see the person who's singing, it's kind of pointless. You want to see what you're looking at.

Okay, now think of a movie that drives you completely mental. Honestly one of my biggest pet peeves would be terribly made movies. One of the biggest one's for me is when someone lights the movie terribly. If you can't see the actor's face, what's the point??? Shadows are awesome, and you can do some cool things to enhance things with them.

One of my favorite movies is "Arsenic and Old Lace." There's a scene in the movie where the bad guy is supposed to look creepy. So what they did was just showed his shadow on the wall, standing really tall over top of this really short guy. It was beautiful because it showed how he was really this terrfying unknowable person. You wouldn't want to get to know him for fear of dying...
My point is this, if you only saw that scene in the movie it'd be pointless, you wouldn't understand the rest of it. You wouldn't know what the bad guy looked like. I don't know if I'm making any sense here... the doctor put me on a ton of medication for my asthma, so I could just be rambling...

But we need to stop just looking at shadows and we need to see the point. God has given us such beautiful things, and we're called to be lights in a dark world. The shadow's? They just prove how cool the light is. :)

Yep that's the perspective from a really sick lighting techie :P

Have an awesome night.

Dear Grief

Unfortunately, you are a very hard thing to deal with. I don't like you... I guess I'll have to get used to you though-because suffering produces endurance-- and a lot of other things that are forming me into the image of Christ.

Just because I battle you, does not mean I'm sinning. For it is indeed a battle, and in this round, I have been stabbed too many times.

As long as the Lord keeps me fighting- as long as I stand, press forward, my eyes toward the goal-- you will never win.

You oh grief, do not hold any power over me. Your child anger cannot bruise me. Fear-he cannot cripple me. Guilt? Your lovely cousin? Cannot tempt me. I stand in the grace of God. There's nothing he can say, nothing he can accuse me of that th eLord hasn't forgiven me for. That my Jesus' nail pierced hands don't speak for.

As for your father and mother?
Sin and Death? Ohhhhh... My daddy has words for you!!! "Death is swalled up in victory. Oh death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?"
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our lord Jesus Christ." 1 Cor 15: 54-56

Oh guilt, oh death, sin, grief, anger. To be honest I cannot defeat you. I look at you and I cringe, for you are painful, and I wish if I just ignored you, you would go away. But you won't.

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,"

THEREFORE:

I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamaties,

For when
I
am
weak
then

I
am
STRONG

What's up with Psalm 139?

So I was reading through one of my favorite Psalms, and remembered what a friend had talked to me about once. He was confused as to what the second part of the Psalm meant, in his Bible Study his group had discussed the first half, but never touched the second. As I was reading through this Psalm, a "solution" suddenly dawned on me.

Well, enough of the introduction, the Psalm that I was reading is the commonly quoted Psalm 139 which you can read in it's entirety by clicking on the chapter number.

The Psalm is most famous for speaking on the subject of beauty. Many a core-group leader, has tackled insecurity by quoting this Psalm. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" It continues on in worshiping the Lord because of his knowledge, his control, and his omnipresence. The Psalm is beautiful, and is a great encouragement when someone feels lonely.

But that's not really why I wrote this post, now is it?

If you read the rest of the Psalm it continues on by stating

"If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies"

What in the world? To any non-Christian, the Psalm just took a turn for the worse, who is this God that would slay people? Aren't we supposed to love our enemies, and bless those who persecute us? Aren't we supposed to "Hate the sin, love the sinner"? So why is this here, why is this in the Scriptures, if God is love, than what does this portion mean??

Okay, let's take it piece by piece here. Let's go back to what we know:
1.God is Holy, man is not.
So for starters, we'll never completely understand everything about the Lord.
2. God cannot tolerate sinners, he CANNOT b"e in their presence.
3. The only difference between us, and the "wicked" mentioned in this passage is that we have been enabled to call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and by his blood God sees us as clean.
4. We know God is love. God doesn't love. He IS love, we wouldn't know what "love" was, if God didn't show it too us.
5. We know God cannot sin. So therefore, for God to hate people, it isn't wrong. Think about it, what's the third commandment?
"You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. " Duet 5:11

In this passage, they have broken this commandment, the promise along with it, is that God cannot hold someone guiltless who misuses his name. (The rest of that verse is a whole different subject, but let's move on with this passage first.)

What is our goal in life? What is our true purpose? For us as Christian's it should be Christ, Christ's glory and honor. Above all else. Christ's honor is what brings us joy and satisfaction, it's what we're meant to do.
So if we're so concerned about Christ's glory, won't those who try to stamp out your life's purpose become your enemy? Shouldn't you hate those God hates? Because he has the same goal as you... His glory. When we are trying to please other people, then this passage seems insane. When we put God first, it makes a little more sense.

Also, don't stop at the end of that part of the passage, read this next part:

"Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."

We're to be focused on God's glory, no person should get in the way of that. David understood this, and wrote about how God's glory should be preeminent in his life, THEN he asks God to make sure that he himself (David) isn't a hindrance to the glory of God. But he doesn't leave it there. David knows that in and of himself he cannot be holy, and without God he is God's enemy, just like those he was previously asking God to slay. So he says "Lead me".

We cannot put God first on our own, we need help. Let's each ask God to lead us, and to SHOW us, how to put him first, and to trust his judgement on those who he condemns.

It's a really difficult concept, mull it over in your mind a few times, and talk to God about it. Then comment and let me know if you think I'm way off base.

Pics

So. Sleepy.
Trying to stay awake.
I'm supposed to be working on these poster-board things that we set up for graduation, you know, the actual graduation and the party.

But this late at night, and my organization skills are just terrible. I know what I'd somewhat like it to look like, but I'm just getting frustrated.
There's so many pictures, especially of just me and Brooke. She's been my best friend since like... diapers. ;)

It's obvious from the pictures that my favorite people are my family. (Well some of my favorite people, there's a lot more too.) I'm also finding some pictures I really wanted to burn. But I'm being brave and putting those on the board too. I still can't find some of the pictures from the "Hide from mom stage." I'm trying to find some, but can't. I'm kinda happy that they won't be going up.
NO ONE WILL EVER SEE THE MONSTROSITY OF MIDDLE SCHOOL. THE MIDDLE SCHOOLER WREAKS HAVOC TO SOCIETY!!!
HIDE HIDE HIDE!!!

Okay, enough procrastinating. Imma get back to work.

Band

Great Band you guys, you need to listen to them:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Attalus/131129353591678?sk=app_2405167945

Doubt, Doubt, Doubt.

I love Romans 8.
I especially love the way the Bible I read as a kid puts it:
"Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? (Even the Scriptures say, "For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.") No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't and life can't. The angles can't, an dthe demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to seperate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." (kid's Life Application Bible,NLT)

Sometimes we wonder if God really loves us, or even if what we're going through... how can that be God's plan? We see earlier in Romans 8 that God has plans already laid out for us, and that everything works together for good. Well I'm also learning that God doesn't just bring us to the tragedy and "give us directions" as a friend of mine put it, he leads us through it.
He will never leave us or forsake us. The Lord is with us, whom shall we fear? What can mere man do to us?? :)
Absolutely nothing.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1

"Even if our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and knows everything." (NLT) (the whole section look up: 1 John 3:18-20, it's really cool!)

:) So next time you're doubting, or something someone says leads you to question your standing, or even your own heart leads you to question. Remember even when we are faithless, GOD is faithful.

Bad Friday

Well, it's Good Friday.
... wait, can I re-say that?
Every year my dad and mom have made sure we understand that Good Friday is alternately good/bad.
Jesus died on this day. Not so good. Actually pretty sad, especially considering we're to blame for it.
So while everyone where's normal clothes on Good Friday, my family wears black. It's like we're going to a funeral. Makes sense right?

Well, this year my church is doing a Good Friday service called, "Service of Shadows." Basically it's a funeral service for God.

Makes you realize the impact of it when you say it that way, huh?
Of course, you never want to underestimate the resurrection, that has just as much to do with our salvation as Christ's death. But I think we don't always understand the magnitude of a gift Christ gave us. On this day, God died.

"Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
By oppression and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer"

Isaiah 53:4-10a

"It was the Lord's will to crush him." --- This is what Christ did for you.

FEAR

I recently reached 100 posts.
I feel accomplished.
And yet, I look at my recent posts... and they're kinda boring.
So anyways, I thought I should let people know I'm going to stop writing the story I was writing, re-write it, and then post it.
See, because on the blog, the story is writing itself in a way I don't like. SO I'm going to change it.
In other news,
I almost got dead from a tornado. Okay, well it missed me by three miles.
May I say that is my biggest fear???
Yes. I can.
I just did.
I threw up because of one once. ... I was only like four, but still.
I hate thunderstorms and love them at the same time.
I hate tornadoes, but they facinate me to no end.
Okay, your turn.
What's your biggest fear?

Lunch

Valarie and Mandy took a break, after tearing through boxes like Nazi's, they were in need of a lunch break. So Mandy picked up her purse and keys and abruptly stabbed Valarie in the side. "Hey, you," She said, grinning while Valarie yelped and massaged her aching side. "I'll treat you to lunch, let's go."
Valarie groaned and knew she better not argue. Even though Mandy was timid, she was not a pushover. When she had something set in her mind, no amount of arguing or begging would change her mind.
So Valarie placed the vase she had in her hand gently on the bookshelf, and trudged to the door. She grabbed her purse, plopped her phone in it, and slid on the only pair of shoes she had unpacked; an ugly pair of sea-green crocks.

The Apartment

Valarie dragged the last cardboard box into the apartment with a huff, moving was not her idea, but her job decided it ruled her life. "Stupid box" she muttered as it landed with a "thud" on her big-toe.

She sat down on the stack of boxes in what was to be the "living room" and massaged her foot. The place looked more like a storage space than what was to be a humble abode. "Well, it's not perfect, but for now it's home." She looked down at the cold stone floor, it practically begged for a rug. "Red? How bout red?" She had seen a beautiful rug a few weeks back in her favorite home decorating stores and desperately wanted it, in her old apartment there was no need for it, it was all carpet. But this was the perfect excuse to splurge. Being in the interior design business definently ruined you. This place was in need of color and style, Valarie only hoped her last check would cover the cost of it's makeover.

The apartment complex boasted it's location was the only of it's kind in North America. Valarie thought that was a bit of a stretch, but the place was definently interesting. It was built on the site of an old castle, and Valarie loved the medivial feel of everything, she had always dreamed of her Prince Charming, and hoped that maybe in this new location he would find her. The particular apartment she was moving into happened to be one of the original buildings, that's why the floor was stone. The developer of the place loved the old castle. But wasn't able to keep most of it due to it's sinking floor. But because of his obsession with it and the myth's surrounding it, he managed to keep what had been the "East Wing". No one really knew who the castle had belonged to, there were plenty of myth's, his favorite being the story of Cinderella. The poor guy was mental, and swore on his mother's grave that this was the very castle in which Cinderella had dwelt. Of course, the Apartment complex at it up. It was great for publicity, and Valarie's employer loved the idea... Not to mention it was cheap, and close to the new office.

"Well, better start unpacking," She spoke into the air, being as single as she was, she was used to talking to herself just to quiet the silence. She had only two weeks left to get herself arranged, then get back into the swing of things, and she had lots to do. She pulled out her cell-phone and called her friend Mandy, they had been friends since fourth grade. Mandy being timid and drop dead gorgeous, Valarie was more confident, but plain. Valarie was always getting Mandy to do things she never would have done, like date.... Valarie laughed, and was again reminded of the strange silence in the weird place. Mandy had promised she would help her unpack, but she hadn't helped at all yet, she was busy planning her wedding.

So my computer died. I'm right now using my mother's computer. That's one of the reason's my posts have been sporadic.
But I have an idea, I have this story I've been rolling around in my mind, but I have no word processor to write it on.
Guess what???
:) This is now my word processor.
Hope you like the story!