"Do you see me, do you WANT to see me?"
"Will you fight for me?"
"Am I good enough?"
These questions which are silently asked by many girls, are our deepest questions. We want to be pleasing. Physically, spiritually, emotionally.... in fact our fear is so deep that when someone walks away from us in our lives-many times we assume that it is because we were either "Too much" or "not enough".
I find myself while I am at school, trying to make new adult decisions. I am standing on what feel like wobbly legs. It's almost as if I am like a young horse attempting to stand on it's own for the first time. But many times, instead of taking those first few steps-I keep turning back around and asking those around me "Are you sure I can do this?" "Am I doing this right?" "Am I good enough?" One of the deepest cries of my heart is that God and his people would be pleased with me. If I get the slightest inclination that someone is upset, displeased, or uncomfortable about something I am doing-
I hide.
I shy away from that which I have been called. I refuse to walk because I'm afraid I'll fall. I'm afraid to fall because my biggest fears are 'being a disappointment' and that I am not doing enough or doing far too much.
But see, when you hide and are afraid to walk, especially you young women attempting adult life--when we are so caught up in the question of "Am I pleasing God", sometimes we forget the core of the gospel is that the answer is: "YES, YES, A MILLION TIMES YES!". But not because we've accomplished something of our own. No, God is pleased because of the work on the cross-Jesus' word's on the cross were;
"It is finished" not "Now please me."
Colossians 1:22 says that the point of the cross was this: "But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation—" and since that work is finished, we need to take the light yoke that the Lord has promised us. (Matt 11:30 'For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.')
"The reason we fear to step out is because we know that it might not go well (is that an understatement?). We have a history of wounds screaming at us to play it safe. We feel so deeply that if it doesn't go well, if we are not received well, their reaction becomes the verdict on our lives, on our very beings, on our hearts. We fear that our deepest doubts about ourselves as women will be confirmed. Again. ...That is why we can only risk stepping out when we are resting in the love of God. When we have received his verdict on our lives-that we are chosen and dearly loved. That He finds us captivating. Then we are free to offer"
- John and Stasi Eldredge--"Captivating"
......We have to receive the gift of rest, because we have a God who sees and cares and notices. He will not become undone. He remains un-overwhelmable…Choosing to please God sounds right at first, but it so often leads to a performing life, a girl trying to become good, a lean-on-myself theology. If I am trying to please God, it is difficult to trust God. But when I trust God, pleasing Him is automatic."
- Emily P. Freeman -- "Grace for the Good Girl"
