Justification

Found this this morning, thought it was too amazing not to share:

"The Friend Zone"

Now, you probably clicked on this... and thought "Oh no, I'm her friend, and I'm a guy... WHAT NOW?!?!" or if you're a girl you're probably going "YEAH PREACH IT".... But this isn't so much for the guys, as it is for the girls.
(SORRY GIRLS)
And if your a friend of mine who's a guy. Chill out. There's no subliminal messages here. If I wanted to tell you something, I'd say it to your face.

Secondly, I'm not an expert on this stuff. I've never had a boyfriend. So if you hate what I say... move along...
That being said.
A guy friend of mine read my last post, and suggested I write on the "Friend Zone".
Now. Before you go yelling at me and I get angry comments.... let's define the friend zone.

There's having a guy/girl friend, and then there's the "friend zone". There is a large difference between the two.

The simplest way to put this is one sentence: "There are certain things you should do with only your girlfriend."

I have a lot of great guy friends. Honestly ladies, sometimes you're the most confusing species in the entire world. I swear. Guys will straight up tell you if you look nasty, and most of the time their opinion of you doesn't change based on what color the sky is that morning.

A friend will respect boundaries if you put them there. Ladies, you need to be brave enough to say to a guy EARLY ON IN YOUR FRIENDSHIP "I'm not comfortable with that." If he's really your friend, he'll respect your boundaries. If he doesn't, then you need to find a different friend.

Guys: PLEASE. PLEASE. Tell us if you have different intentions than straight-up friendship. I've heard we tend to read into things, which is probably true. So just save yourself the trouble of having to watch your friend eat a whole half-gallon of icecream.

Friendship between a guy and a girl happens only when both of them are willing to be honest with each other, and respect the other. A guy can be a gentleman, and not be leading you on. In fact, the friend that suggested I write this is a great example of that. He will open doors for a lady, and treat her like she's worth something.

But see, the "friend zone" needs to be avoided at all costs. The people who live in the friend zone are weird. But you know them; This is the guy who will fawn all over you, but never wants to date you. (and vice versa for the girl) this is the guy who says "I LOVE YOU!" and pays for your meals, but won't pay for the ring.
This is the place where girls will tickle you, bake food, buys you things randomly, and flirts mercilessly, but refuses to be your wife.
THAT. My friend, is the Friend Zone.
And it's a very bad place to be.


Sometimes it's up to you when you cross the line into the "Friend Zone". For instance, I absolutely love having people over to my house and cooking for them. It's an absolute joy for me. I love watching people's faces light up when they eat some new recipe I tried. Guys like food. Guys are honest. So I invite guys over to try different food. If they hate it, they should tell me.

BUT.

If a guy starts coming over once a week to eat food that I wasn't planning on him eating.... then he's crossed the line.

LADIES:  The "Friend Zone" is crossed when you allow the guy to believe your dating. Because taking this advice just from a chick doesn't make a whole lot of sense, I'm going to include a quote from a conversation with my friend (Who happens to be a guy):

"The bad "Friend Zone" for ladies comes when they go out for coffee with a guy friend and expect him to pay; they wanna go hang out with a bunch of mutual friends but the guy drives consequently paying for gas; (when she) LETS him put his arm around her, take her to movies, and thus gives him the impression they're dating but the next day she does the whole thing over again with another guy." -M.S.

Come on girls, I know we're stupid sometimes, but you know how it feels to be "led on" by a guy.... don't do it to him.
There's nothing wrong with watching a movie with your guy friend. Just make sure when you do, you make sure he understands it's not a date. Not because you *love* making things awkward between your friends.... but because you love him as a Christian sister, and want to make sure you don't hurt him---i.e. RESPECT HIM.

Too often we girls get so caught up in telling guys that they need to be respectable and treat us like ladies, that we forget we need to respect them. How are they supposed to reach a standard even we don't believe they can reach?

You know what? This all boils down to something God outlined in the Scriptures a *long* time ago.
"Do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:31)

Be love to them. Not the wife/husband relationship, treat them as your sibling... If anyone were to attack (verbally or physically) one of my younger brothers, you'd better believe that person would be going home with a black eye. (Violence is not the answer....But you get my concept) He's your brother, so don't be one of those people who deserves a black eye.
Guys, she's your sister. Treat her like you would want your own daughter to be treated.... and don't be afraid to tease her like you would your own sister.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails."

It's time to Man-Up ya'll. Ladies, it's time to show a little respect:

A boy turning into a man....

Recently my little brother described what kind of guy he wanted to be, and I was seriously impressed:

"See, there's gangstah, and then there's 'cool'. When those guys look in the mirror they're like; 'Yo mayuhn, Imma get me some chix....But then there's classy.... I want to be classy. They look in the mirror and they're like; 'I'm gonna get me a lady. We're gonna get married.'"
-Little Brother tips his Fedora-

NO. You can't have him. He's my little brother. HE'S MINE.
But seriously, he's the sweetest little kid, his heart is so huge... sometimes I forget he's a teenager HA.

This week there has kind of been a re-occurring theme of what a "good" guy should be like. But, it's probably just because of valentine's day. But anyways, I thought I would share what I've found:

UrbanDictonary.com describes classy as this:
"An adjective:
1) meaning very stylish and elegant.
2) not crude or misgusting or dirty or depressing
2) a deeper, more meaningful word for 'cool'"

 

 I have to say... the brotip made me literally LOL.

Don't worry guys, I believe that women need to act like ladies. I think that too often girls get all preachy at guys and forget we're supposed to live differently as well.

 


Hope these made ya smile!

The Valley of Despair

Nothing here was visible, it was all covered in thick, dark, fog. This is the place where my deepest horrors lived. This is where my past haunted me. In this place it hurt to breathe. My legs became the same as lead, great strength was required to put one foot in front of the other. I could swear the fog here was laced with something. Something that took away the will to live.... Or maybe it was the memories that were simply haunting me.
Exhaustion seeped from every limb in my body, and my head pounded behind my eyes.
When I closed my eyes to dismiss the frightening terrain in front of me, all I saw was deeper darkness.
Here, my thoughts couldn't save me.
Here, I had no will to sing a song to pass the time, I didn't even have the desire to stay conscious. To lay down and give up would be a relief, but I know if I lay to rest, then he will come.
The beast.
If I were to rest my weary, aching head... then he would devour me. The warm dark fog would cover me as a seed of death was planted in my mind. But then, would that be so bad?
Who would miss me? Would anyone care?
I seem to be the instigator of arguments and disagreements in the first place, who would mind if he finally won?
Crawl.
Keep crawling.
My hands and knees covered in scrapes, but I have to keep moving.
The torment never seems to cease, and my mind was continually weighing heavier. My soul had no fight inside, it was beginning to wither away.
The cliffs above me, as I crawled towards what I thought to be a glimmer of light, began to take form.
These weren't cliffs.
These were embodiments of the voices in my head.
I couldn't be blessed with silence in this hellish place. Instead, the cliffs spoke whispers into my soul.
"You're not worth it, your a fake....."
"You're not of value, no one loves you..."
"Your core beliefs are bogus, everything you know is a lie."
"You're the biggest hypocrite, how could God love you?"
I clenched my eyes and tried to shut the voices out of my head by screaming at the top of my lungs, but there was no noise emitted, my lungs had given out. My nails scraped the side of my head as my hands tried to shut out the voices.
My body and my mind were against me.
This, this was the valley of despair.
I'd been here before. Every year when the sun went down, and the days grew long, I came here.
This was a desolate place. No matter what path I took on my journey, I always seemed to come back to the same place....
Which seemed altogether, too strange.
In a journey towards the light, how is it I kept coming here?
Every year my path took me back, I'm beginning to think I'm walking in circles...

That's when it hit me. I couldn't give up. I'd gotten through this before... but I'd never been alone....
It was then I realized someone was with me. Instead of crawling, I let him carry me.
We made it through.
Instead of whispers of hate, there were whispers of kindness.
There was the sound of victory in his voice, and he told me he'd been here before.
When we reached the other side, he showed me his wounds in his hands.
He told me that though we may encounter this place again, never to worry.
It is finished.