This One's For You :)

Today has been one of those days for me. I'm carrying around a bit of sadness today. Thankfully I'm not the only one.
The youth pastor I grew up with is being called to a different ministry. He's staying through the Summer, but then is moving on to a different ministry in another state. So I'm a bit sad.
See, this guy has seen me in MiddleSchool, and he's been such an encouragement to watch. He serves God with all his heart, even when he thinks no one is watching. He fails sure, yeah. But his heart is in the right place, God always calls him back to His throne.
Now this shouldn't bother me too much, since I'm now in College, but it's a little hard to explain....
This guy's kinda been my second daddy. I've always known that he had my back. Especially with a few things that happened a few summers back.
I can remember when I was in middleschool and heard him speak for the first time. We'd just recently switched through a whole bunch of pastors. They announced they had some visitor from California... it was a Switch Sunday (when all the middleschoolers got to go to the Highschool service) and I always loved Switch Sunday. But I'm a little ADD and have always had to take notes to stay focused. So I sit down and they introduce this guy.

The first sermon I heard him preach was on Psalm 1. I cracked my notebook open and clicked the pen. But the second the dude opened his mouth I couldn't write anything. Something about him was different. He had a passion, a huge love for Christ. He talked about how someone who is in-tune with God is like a tree planted by water. .... I don't think I'll ever forget that---I can remember as a little sixth-grader attempting to compose and email to our new pastor (once he decided to stay) thanking him for his ministry, but never quite got the nerve.

Nor will I forget his "life-lessons"... Stories he would tell us from his middleschool and highschool years. Some overly-protective parents asked him to finally quit telling them. My friends and I still die laughing at the memories of them.

I remember going on a missions-trip on my birthday one year.... and the whole group decided to surprise me. Had me cooped up in a friends hotel room, then got told "There's an important team meeting we need to go to right now, downstairs. Let's go."
I thought to myself "I'M IN MY PJS!!!"
As I came down the elevator and the doors swung open, in the lobby of this hotel, there stood my Pastor and friends, with cupcakes and camera's, singing happy birthday... as I stood shocked in my PJ's.

I will never forget the day at Summer Camp he put my hands on my shoulders and completely embarrassed me in front of the whole youth group. I'm sitting in the back, attempting to be invisible (it's my job as a techie!) When he comes and stand directly behind me. Both the sound guy and I look at each other and share the same thought. "DON'T MOVE". See, if he's standing behind us and talking, then all the kids had to look past us to see him. If we moved the wrong way or pushed a button, we'd be super distracting.
When suddenly he puts his hands on my shoulders and begins to talk! I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself!!!! I still smile at what he said :)

So I'm sad he's going. He means a lot to me. But I also know that whatever group of kids gets to sit under him in the place he's going, will have stories like these to tell to their kids. I also know that someday, in heaven... I'll see him again.

In the book of Daniel it talks about the end times. Not right when we die, but the end. It says;

"But at that time your people shall be delivered, everyone whose name shall be found written in the book. And many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt.And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever" (Daniel 12:1b-3)

I'm not sure how heaven will look, or even how it will look. But I know that my pastor is one of those whose "turned many to righteousness" and I've had the privilege to be one of them. God gets a lot of glory out of him, and I'm glad I've gotten to watch it. So goodbye for now. Maybe I'll see you before heaven, maybe I won't. But either way:

What Insanity is This?

Well. My head is absolutely spinning. Today was an amazing day.... and yet it was so insane. It was totally not what I had planned at all.

My day started out really relaxing. I went to the park and roller-bladed. The weather outside was perfectly delightful!!!! This is what went on inside my head:

"I'm so happy!!! I absolutely *love*  spring. When it comes, I have this strong desire to do backflips... if only I knew how without busting my head open.
In the winter, everything's dead. Doomed. There's all these clouds in the sky, and there's a significant lack of light. I hate darkness.
BUT SPRING.
Ahhhh spring.
Daffodils poke there sunshiney faces into the sky, birds begin screaming praises in the air, and oxygen even SMELLS sweeter.
New life is here! The dark days are gone! (Can I do backflips now??)
Watermelons, Cantelope, Strawberries.....sparkling blue water, happy dancing clouds, and the song that all of nature seems to sway to in the wind. When spring comes I want to join that happy dance.
WARMTH IS HERE!

and my face looks like that. SO MUCH JOY. In fact, it's hilarious. I laugh all the time, but I seem to smile even more in the spring. But then again... Lately my friends at school have been commenting on the fact that I always seem happy. They can't quite figure it out. Which makes me smile a little bit more. If I tried to explain to them that the reason I smile is not that someone spiked my lemonade... or that I'm superbly busy with lots of fun things to do... if I tried to explain to them that it was because Jesus saved my soul, and I can't *help* but grin... they would be completely caught off guard by that response.

Strapping on a pair of roller-blades is like strapping on a pair of wings. I can feel the wind whipping through my hair, as oxygen is pumped into my lungs. It's so exhilarating. But I'm new to the whole thing. When I strap on my roller-blades it's like learning how to fly. I used to have to be super careful of what I did and didn't do because of a disability I have in my knees.

But now, NOW I'm un-fearful. I strap on the boots, and forget. I forget I need an inhaler to breathe, I forget I could slide my knee out of place with one wrong move. When I strap them on, I can feel my muscles learning and conforming to the boots. Each time I put them on, they get stronger. This is my runway, I learn how to take off here:

By the time I'm done, my legs are killing me, and my feet are achey... but it's totally worth it all. Today I learned to jump. I can imagine being a baby bird and trying out new things with fresh wings, that's how I feel on my roller-blades.

Today I also went with a friend to see a movie. I adore this girl. She is so amazing. It was such a blessing to just be a kid again with her. We saw the Lorax, and walked over to ColdStone. We grabbed some icecream and just talked for hours. See, this girl used to babysit me. She's only about four years older than me, and now we're in the same college class at church. We love to joke and laugh, and it's such a blessing to see her every Sunday. We've both grown up so much, and it's so cool to be able to just laugh at silly little things and remember the joys of life when I'm with her.

Then I realized that I could not get home. I couldn't even get to church. My friend didn't have a car, and neither did I... But God sent a friend to swing by and pick me up! We headed to my church to get dinner and go to Bible Study....

But then it happened.

I got a call from my mom: "Hey, where are you?"
Me: "I'm in the car with Jessica"
Mom: "Well the church is being evacuated and everything is cancelled. Where do you want to meet me?"
Me: "I guess the Cafe Parking Lot? ... What's going on??"
Mom: "I don't know. I need to go now. Bye"
*click*
A little bit of panic set in... but I wasn't too worried, there had been multiple false fire alarms at my church, so I figured that was what it was.
Until the phone tag... and what I saw at my church. Droves and droves of cars streaming out of the parking lots.... Police cars with their lights flashing and blocking every single enterance.
Me: "Hey mom, I can't get in the parking lot at all... what's going on?!"
Mom: "Oh okay, where are you??"
Me: "I'm coming down the road"
Mom: *all I hear is noise*
Me: "Hey... just meet me at Starbucks okay??"
Mom: "Alright"
*click*
About twenty minutes later ... I find out there's a bomb threat. At my church. HOW INSANE IS THAT?!

All I could think to myself was "Why?" "Why would someone do that???" The next thought as I was sitting there in the Starbucks with my church the first thing you see as you look out the window, was "I just can't imagine it gone."
Technically, the church isn't the building. The church is the people. But I would definently miss my church building if it was gone.

But here's the cool thing:
Despite the insanity that was going on at my church BUILDING....
Church
            Still
                    Happened.
I still got to study the word with two very good friends of mine. A bomber might come and try to eliminate a building that he or she believes is the source of our joy.... but they never can get rid of it.

They can take away our building, they can't take away our faith.
They can take away our families, they can't take away our Father.
They can take away our Bibles, they'll never get rid of his Words.
They can take away our friends, but we'll never be alone.

ADVENTURES IN COLLEGE---Active Listening

Well. I think I have some new tags for things:
1. Adventures in College
2. The Other Side of the Stage. (Which one day, I hope will be a blog of its own... but I don't have the time for it right now.)

Today, in school. I laughed.
AMAZING I KNOW, RIGHT?
Just kidding.
What I mean was.... I laughed in my head... and tried very hard not to giggle too loudly in class.
You see....
Today we did an "active listening" project. Simple...seems like a good exercise, right?
Well ... first let me give you some background.
I grew up in a family where "active listening" was commonplace. Now generally when we're all just having a good time we run over each others sentences and just laugh our heads off at every little thing. But my parents always taught me to listen.... and listen well.
Listening is a skill that not many people have. Lots of people hear things... but not many people listen. There's a huge difference between the two.
Listening involves not just hearing what the person is saying but what they're not saying as well. So today in class we outlined what three things were necessary to actively listen.

1. Paraphrasing-
I do this naturally, so I thought it was really really odd that no one in my class knew how to do it. (and laughed inside, because as a homeschooler... *I'm* the one that's supposed to have awkward social skills.) Now if you still don't know what this is, it's actually really simple. When someone tells you something, you re-word what they're saying to make sure you actually understand.
A good example of this would be when your mom tells you to do a chore... and you re-phrase what she says so that you can get out of it. I.E.
Mom: "Honey, go clean the kitchen."
You: "So, you just want me to clean out the sink?"
...
Obviously this form of paraphrasing isn't "positive" and it's a little manipulative... but now you understand what it is.

2. Acknowledge the Speakers Feelings
This is really simple and easy too. When your friend says to you; "Shelly is really cruel and always talks badly about me." You would say; "Woahwoah, sounds like you're pretty ticked off!!!"
See? Really easy.

3. Ask Questions
This ones pretty easy too, see... Lets go back to your friend who was complaining about Shelly. Now you don't want to give advice to your friend right now, she's pretty ticked off... it could end badly, plus, your friend didn't ask for help. SO. Instead you ask questions so that your friend can figure out for themselves what they need to do.
But you aren't manipulative or ingenuine. You honestly care about your friend and Shelly, so you don't want to do anything to hurt them.
A good question to ask in this situation would be; "What'd Shelly do to make you so upset?"

So now that you understand how relatively easy this is... let me introduce you to my group for our project.
Now let me give a disclaimer: these people are the people I sit next to and are amazing people.
Now.
3 People.
Me.
And two other people. We'll call them Dan and Jasmine.

Dan, Jasmine and I need to re-inacte a scenario where Jasmine has just broken up with her boyfriend. Jasmine is in tears and obviously upset. She comes running to me for consolation. (Dan at this time was supposed to "observe") We begin and I start the three step process of active listening. At one point we stop because one of the questions I asked sounded sort of like "advising". (I asked Jasmine whether she missed her boyfriend or just doing things, and if I went to go do something with her would she feel better?) Dan suddenly became very confused.
He stopped both of us and said;
"Wait, if you're not supposed to be giving advice, what's the point to listening to her?"
I balked.
But then said; "Well after a break-up, she doesn't really want advice... she wants you to cry and eat bon-bons with her."
"Really?" Dan said, "Why would she do that? Isn't that just rehearsing it? Shouldn't she just get over it?"
That time I had to laugh. I laughed really hard.
Another guy from the back of the room shouted; "Yeah, isn't it time she just moved on??"
EPIC. FACEPALM.
I totally though active listening was easy, but now I see it's not natural for people.
I don't know if this was a lack of training in the public schools, or a gender bias, or what. But it made me laugh...
I hope it made you laugh too.
Next time your friend comes running to you with a problem, don't try to fix it. :) He/She will feel a whole lot better if you wait until they ask you for advice.

"Someone Poisoned the Watering Hole"

It was the year of the Carnival. My family had waited for months for summer to finally come around. We'd seen ad's float over the internet and splash on the TV. This was the biggest event America had seen since Whitney Huston's funeral.
This wasn't like the State Fair, or something that came around every year. This was the "Under One Sun" Water Park. See, with the crash of the economy, America hit her knees. When America fell, the rest of the world felt it.... When suddenly, from what seemed to be the ashes of humanity--- a man arose. A man with a great vision and a power to woo the masses. We were now what the earth had groaned for: One World. The government was ruled by this man, and to celebrate the rise from the economy crash, with the new-found wealth, our great leader set forth on a tour around the world.

But because he knew that little kids would not want to stand at some political party, he built a theme park. A water park built with every imaginable kind of slide and splash zone ever created. While the kids could play, the parents could come to listen to him speak.
Finally, it was our country's turn.
The best part about the whole thing was that it was free. There was no cost for admissions.... my family never had a whole lot, so when we heard about such a great opportunity we freed our schedule and decided to go.

When we pulled into the park my eyes lit up. I was always nicknamed "the fish" of the family... I absolutely love swimming. This was my dream.

As we began to walk in, I realized there was something funny about the place. I couldn't quite place it, but I shook off the dreadful feeling and ran to the changing rooms to throw on my bathing suit. Nothing could keep me from swimming!!!

Or could it??

As I walked into the changing room, there were millions of women gossiping, and sharing the greatest achievements of their children. The teenage girls were showing off their latest hairstyles and throwing around the latest celebrity's name. But that wasn't what caught me off guard. That was typical to hear. No, what threw me for a loop was the absence of joy. These people all seemed excited, just like I was.... but they seemed as if it was all rehearsed. Their eyes were dead and their faces were devoid of emotion. It was all too strange.

I quickly walked out and looked for a different place to change. There, in the middle of the entrance stood my family... surrounded by men in dark suits. My dad looked frantic, his hands were waving back and forth and my mom was nodding her head vigorously. My younger brothers stood looking shell-shocked and dazed as my older sister frantically attempted to pull there gaze from what appeared to be a young women unconsciously on the pavement. What had I missed?!

I ran over and my ears began to pick up piees from the conversation between my father and what appeared to be security guards; "...just died....after drinking.......you people...." as the security gaurd listened to my father's rant, I came close enough to hear his entire response; "There's nothing to worry about, she's fine."
I was shocked. How could he say she was fine? This lady, from what I could gather, had stopped at the water fountain before heading to the pool... she sipped the water, and keeled over and died!

When my dad heard the repeated response of the guard, he looked at us and said; "That's it, we're leaving."
To which the body guard responded, "I'm sorry... you can't"

That's when I realized.......

As we had been walking in, I noticed. Something threw me off, it wasn't the entrance, that was large.... There was no exit to this place.

Suddenly what was once an exciting family outing, became entrapment. We were enslaved to the will of this water park. No one could rescue us.

We were all in the same park. All doomed to ride slides and swim. One could make the most of it, but the looks on the people's faces told me that this "park for fun" ... was no longer fun after thousands and thousands of hours.  None of the rides brought a lasting sense of happiness. There was so much entertainment and excitement it made you physically ill.

Still. We were forced to play on this playground. Months passed, and there was still no escaping. No freedom.

Not only that, but the water was slowly killing people. For most, it was so slow it was unnoticeable. People would spend hours here, and days, and the days would turn to years... eventually, people would just die.

For others it was fast, like the first lady we saw when we stepped into the park on that fateful day. My family and I did our best to avoid the water. We saw what it was doing to people. We did our best to warn folks before they stepped through the gates... but to no avail.
No one would listen. We were the crazy lunatic family of six.
What did we eat? As little as we could. But all was free here. There was every kind of food imaginable. But why would we eat the food, if we knew even the water was bad?
Days and days passed.
It was hard to stay dry. Even fully clothed folks would run and shove you into the nearest pool. We'd *have* to drink water at some point....

We were beginning to waste away, and the taste of death seemed sweeter than staying here. But it didn't seem fair, to die like that. Yet it didn't seem fair to live like this.

Die from having fun.
Or die from not having fun. It got to the point where we were begging our parents to let us in to the water. To just play and get it over with. We were all doomed to die one day, why not die happy?

But then it came.

What exactly?

A whisper.... a hint of hope. There was a tale floating around that a rescuer was here. A lifeguard.

Someone who had been to this death-trap of a water park before. It was said that he'd swam, and drank...and yet was alive. It was even rumored that he'd died... but 'magically' came back to life.

Sounded crazy. But then again, so did a killer water park.

It was rumored that this lifeguard had his own supply of water, a supply that never seemed to run out.... and wouldn't kill you. My family and I sat again, day after day, on the bench... awaiting that lifeguard's appearance. But it seemed like he never came. That's when it was slipped to us. The piece of paper. It read:
"Whoever seeks to save his life will loose it, and whoever looses his life, will gain it."
Did that mean we played in the deathly water?
No.
But it meant we should stop trying to save our own skin. If we died without a lifegaurd, that's great. But in order for a lifegaurd to come, you have to need help. My family and I realized, we needed help. So we sat and waited, and determined in our minds to no longer even eat the food to survive. We would have to waste away.

And we began to.

Death seemed like it was coming slowly, he haunted our every movement. Every gasp for air was heavier. But then it came. The lifegaurd! He rescued us! When it seemed we would slip and fall, he came. He gave us refreshing water, and we never thirsted again. The water park seemed to be just an attempt at re-creating what this lifeguard had. He knew a way out of the park, and led us there.

But instead of staying home, I and my family decided we needed to follow this lifegaurd wherever he said was safe. We no longer trusted the government to provide the "one world" water. No, instead we followed the man who rescued us.

You see, we're all forced to play on the "playground" of life.
There's sin in our playground, and it's slowly killing all of us.... it seems fun and fantastic, but we realize people around us seem as though they're in a trance. Like it's all fake. It never truly satisfies.... but everyone is doing it, so ... why shouldn't we? We all die one day. Why not die happy?

But the sickness and fakeness of it all stops some of us...just when all seems lost, that's when we get hope. Sometimes it's by word of mouth through a friend. Just "gossip" in the air, and sometimes its in the form of a track that we get handed at a restaurant.  Whatever it is, we see it and think; "I know this sounds crazy... but so is what I'm living..."
And we realize that these words are true:

“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13 & 14

An Ode to Mine Homework

Ah homework, oh homework!

Thee and I are but dreadful foes,

And now I bid thee hate in prose.
Today my fate was surely sealed,
When thy dreadful case was swiftly dealed

I've lost but a portion of my break,
But without thee a GPA I would have to fake.

I face thee now with book and pen
And nestle now, quite set in my den.
With hopes that one day our quarrel will end,
My book I crease and my glasses I bend,
 And off to my teacher I do thee now send.