Watch Me.

We last left the scene with the human giving God permission to tear down a wall that he had let stand for years. The wall was broken and wouldn’t let light into the center of the human’s heart. It was a wall of protection, but it not only held out the bad things, it wouldn’t let in the good. God told the human that it was time for the wall to come down, although nervous and unsure about what was going to happen, the human gave God permission to tear down the stone wall, allowing God to transform the human’s stony heart.

We now re-enter the scene. The wall is shattered into pieces, and shards lie at the human’s feet. The human stands in the center of what the wall had surrounded. He is examining what has just occurred. God stands close by, watching his child with gentle eyes.
The human steps over the debris, and storms over to God, “I don’t like it!!” The human stomps his foot indignantly and crosses his arms in defiance.

God waits for the human to continue, “NO! This isn’t right! This is NOT what we agreed on.”
“It’s not my child?” God asks, watching his loved one closely.
“No, it’s not. I don’t like it at all. This doesn’t feel good.” The human rushes over to the ruins and quickly tries to put one stone back on top of another.
“Child….” God takes his loved one’s hand away from the debris, picks him up, carries him away from the construction site, and sets him down on a wall that he has created. “I know you are frustrated, but you must talk to me.”
“I… I don’t want to, that wall needs to be fixed---NOW.” He squirms on top of the wall, trying to reach the construction site, but God stops him with a steady hand.

“No, my child, you said that this could be done.”
“But I didn’t know THAT,” pointing to the fallen wall, “is what you meant!!”

God takes the child off of the wall and holds him closely, speaking softly into his ear, God says, “It’ll be alright my child.” He then pulls His child away from Himself and looks at him in the eye, “I love you.”
“If you loved me you wouldn’t let me go through such pain!” He avoids God’s gentle eyes, refusing to accept what He has said.

“My child, did you not say I could tear down the wall?”

“Well… Yeah, but you said you were going to protect me!! This is not protection! I am bare, I have nothing! This is an open wound and it needs to be healed! This hurts!”
The human has hot tears flowing down his cheeks. He has never felt such emptiness before. The wall has always stood strong and never let anything in. But the human had forgotten what lay behind it. What was behind was now open for all to see, and he wasn’t sure he liked being watched.
“My child, I am not done yet,” God gently reminds him. “This is but the beginning of what I am doing.”
“But can’t you go faster???”
“No my child, this is right for you. You asked me to change you, and this is one of the things needing change the most. You have allowed me to go this far, will you not let me complete the work I have begun?”
“But it hurts so badly!” The human cringes in pain.
“My child, I understand your pain. I know what it feels like to lose something close to you. But you have forgotten the ending; it won’t always be like this.”

“But what can I do in the meantime? This hurts, I don’t know if I can keep going.” The human shivers and wraps his arms around himself.
“You are not alone. You have forgotten that I am here with you. Do you need anything else?” God’s inquisitive eyes bore into the human’s soul.
Looking at the debris and then at God, the human says reticently, “As much as I don’t like this… I know you can be trusted, but to do what? I’m not sure anymore…”
“You can trust me to never leave you, and trust that what I’m doing is best for you.” God waits for that statement to sink in, then He begins again, love wrapping its way around His words, “Now, I have some instructions for you. Will you listen?”
“Yes.”

“I want you to watch me.”
“That’s it?” cried the human, with a look of confusion crossing his face. “Don’t you want help building or something??”

God smiles warmly, and replies, “No, I just want you to watch me. You have been focusing on what has been going on around you, watching this wall fall… I don’t want you to watch that anymore. I want YOU, to watch ME.”
Glancing quickly at the fallen wall, the human says, “But what about the wall?”
“I’ll take care of that… Do you trust me?”
The human thought about it, considering the pain he was experiencing, and the truth of God’s words. Finally the human answers with conviction, “Yes Lord, I trust you.”

“Then watch me, and wait.”
We leave the scene with those instructions reverberating around the human’s heart.